1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:02,960 [ INSPIRING MUSIC ] 2 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:13,760 [ BRASS BAND FANFARE ] 3 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:27,440 [ WHISTLES BLOWING ] 4 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,640 [ UPBEAT MARCHING MUSIC ] 5 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:39,000 ♪ Carry on, admiral. 6 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:42,960 ♪ Carry on, admiral. 7 00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:47,440 ♪ Carry on, admiral. 8 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:54,640 ♪ Heave, ho! 9 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:56,320 ♪ Hit the deck. 10 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,200 ♪ Fall in, 11 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,240 ♪ Or bear with the parade. 12 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:06,280 ♪ Spare your heads, 13 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:08,400 ♪ Steady as you go. 14 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:10,280 ♪ Heave out, 15 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:13,000 ♪ Or bear with the parade. 16 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:20,440 ♪ Fight beside, fight beside, fight beside, fight beside. 17 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:23,240 [ WHISTLE BLOWING ] 18 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:27,400 ♪ Carry on, admiral. 19 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:31,600 ♪ Carry on, admiral. 20 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:35,440 ♪ Carry on, admiral. 21 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:40,000 ♪ Carry on, carry on, carry on! ♪ 22 00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:45,520 [ LOW BRASS MUSIC ] 23 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,560 [ SEAGULLS SQUAWKING ] 24 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:05,800 Really, Jane, you know you shouldn't do this to me. 25 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:07,360 Oh, simmer down, darling. 26 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,160 If an admiral can't give his granddaughter a lift-- 27 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:11,080 But I'm on official business! 28 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:12,880 Well, that's all right, you can run along now. 29 00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:14,480 Just hand me that outboard motor. 30 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:16,080 I'll be back around tea-time, Willy. 31 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:17,600 - Would you pick me up? - Of course. 32 00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:19,520 If you think my flag lieutenant 33 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,120 has nothing to do but-- oh, my goodness! 34 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:24,280 Take this, someone's coming. 35 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:26,840 JANE: [CHUCKLES] Why, they're only rating. 36 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,720 As commander in chief, I will not take the salute 37 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,120 with an outboard motor in my hand. 38 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:34,520 Eyes! 39 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:35,680 Left! 40 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:40,560 [ MARCHING MUSIC ] 41 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:43,960 Eyes! Front! 42 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:47,760 [ MARCHING MUSIC ] 43 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:54,000 [ CLATTERING ] 44 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,520 Hey, what do you think you're doing? 45 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,160 Come on! Fall in over there! 46 00:02:58,240 --> 00:02:59,480 [ JANE LAUGHS ] 47 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:01,840 Wow. 48 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:03,520 [ DRILL SERGEANT ] Shortest in the centre! 49 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,800 Well, stone the breeding crows! 50 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,240 I've never seen anything like that in all my life. 51 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:09,720 You can say that again. 52 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,200 An outboard with an half-inch shaft. 53 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,880 No good for sea work, though. 54 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,080 That looks a tricky maneuver to me. 55 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,680 - Yes, it must do. - Uh-oh. Can I help? 56 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:21,080 No, thank you, I do this every day. 57 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,000 You do? At the same time? 58 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:25,480 [ SHE CHUCKLES ] All right. Take this. 59 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:27,920 [ SEAGULLS SQUAWKING ] Thank you. 60 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,320 No, no, no, allow me, I'll fix it for you. 61 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:31,960 - This one? - Oh, yes, but-- 62 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,120 Look, we're just casting off. 63 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,400 Why don't we give you a lift to wherever you're going? 64 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:37,560 - Don't drop the cord. - No, I just dropped it. 65 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:38,640 Look, you know, 66 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:42,000 this is absolutely no sort of a job for a girl. 67 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:45,440 Well, I may not look it, but I'm really a very capable character. 68 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:47,640 Oh, yes, I'm sure you are, but these things have 69 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,120 quite a backlash, you know. You can sprain a wrist, 70 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,280 slip a disc, you can do practically anything. 71 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:54,000 Whoa! [ SPLASHING ] 72 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:56,440 [ JANE LAUGHS ] 73 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,000 You were saying? [ LAUGHS ] 74 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,400 [ SHIP HORN BLOWING ] 75 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:04,960 My outfits are good. 76 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,000 Yes, except that I smell like a herring. 77 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,200 My fishing gear. 78 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:10,680 Where to first, up the sole and around the lightship? 79 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:12,520 - 'Round the lightship? - What, too dull? 80 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,560 How about the nudist camp at the needles? 81 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,160 - Look, I hired this boat-- - Take a Deco through here. 82 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:18,880 Everything's larger than life. 83 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:21,280 What I want to see is HMS Sherwood. Hard of port. 84 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:22,680 HMS Sherwood? 85 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,120 Yes, I'm taking command of her tomorrow. 86 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:26,400 - You are? - Yes, any comments? 87 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:27,880 Well, rust my rollocks. 88 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:29,280 Never mind your rollocks, hard of port, man. 89 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:30,400 All right, all right! 90 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,560 [ EVOCATIVE MUSIC ] 91 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:33,920 There's the old girl. 92 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,400 Looks pretty good, doesn't she? 93 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:38,160 Scrap the lot, I say! The navy's up the creek! 94 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:40,520 - Up the creek? - Yes, up the creek! 95 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:42,760 Put 'em all in the air, I say. 96 00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:46,640 - Flying cruisers, so to speak? - It stands to reason! 97 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:50,840 Atom bombs, atom power, atom cars, atom piles! 98 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,840 The atom's come to stay, you know. 99 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,480 - I must tell it to the admiral. - Yeah, you tell him that! 100 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,800 What's a battleship worth these days, eh? 101 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:02,280 Ha, two penny for cold gin! [ LAUGHING ] 102 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:03,960 - Look out! - Eh? 103 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:08,880 [ RISING, WORRYING MUSIC ] 104 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:12,000 [ WAVES CRASHING ] 105 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:16,480 - She's in, heave to. - D'ahh, women drivers. 106 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,120 - Full start. - Aye-aye. 107 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:22,000 [ SPLASHING ] 108 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:23,840 Hang on. 109 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:26,600 Now, take it easy, I'll have you out in no time. 110 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:28,640 Thank you. I can manage. 111 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:30,880 [ GRUNTS ] [ SPLASHING ] 112 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:32,840 [ MAN LAUGHING ] 113 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,320 You were saying? [ LAUGHING ] 114 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:36,880 Up you come. 115 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,960 And furthermore, I am extremely sorry that I laughed. 116 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:43,400 I suppose it was a sort of nervous reaction. 117 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:44,640 You know how it is. 118 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:47,120 Somebody says granny's been run over by a water cart. 119 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,080 However much you may love dear old gran, 120 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:50,680 your first impulse is to laugh. 121 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:52,800 JANE: My grandmother died a natural death. 122 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:54,360 Oh, that's different. 123 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,520 I do wish you'd stop being an enemy. 124 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,200 Look, I can take a joke as well as the next person, 125 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:02,560 but to deliberately follow me around just to get your own-- 126 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:04,880 [ HE LAUGHS LOUD ] 127 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:06,600 What's the matter, do I look like granny? 128 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,240 Believe me, it was a complete accident. 129 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:09,760 We were so busy looking at the Sherwood, 130 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:10,920 we really didn't see you. 131 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:12,280 So you didn't follow me. 132 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:13,800 You're just cruising 'round the Sherwood. 133 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:15,840 That's right, I'm taking command of her tomorrow. 134 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:17,120 - The Sherwood? - Uh-huh. 135 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:19,960 - Well, rule Britania. - My name's Peter Fraser. 136 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,080 May I know yours? 137 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:23,640 Just call me Neptune's daughter. 138 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:24,360 Ah? 139 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:25,800 Stand by to make fast! 140 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:27,680 Quick, grab a fender. 141 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,800 Hey, grab a fender, down near to starboard. 142 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,520 Fend off over there, miss, just straight over. 143 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:36,080 Watch where it goes! Ah! Fix it there! 144 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:37,440 Easy as it goes. 145 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,280 Watch where the fend off is, miss! 146 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,080 Look, that's all right, okay! 147 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:42,600 PETER: Take it easy. 148 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:45,200 All right, mate, cross over there! 149 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:47,520 Just there, okay! Right? 150 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:48,920 PETER: Right. You know? 151 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:51,000 PETER: The least I can do is to see you home. 152 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:52,560 No, it's very kind of you, but it doesn't matter. 153 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,360 I know, you're still angry with me. 154 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,360 - Oh, no, I'm not really. - Ah, good. 155 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,240 Believe it or not, I've accepted your story. 156 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,160 I hate to stay enemies with Neptune's daughter. 157 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:01,640 Oh, then I'll declare and armistice. 158 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,040 Did you know that you've got sea-green eyes? 159 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:05,720 Must be the cold. 160 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,400 The cold. 161 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,320 The cold, good heavens! Of course, how silly of me. 162 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:10,880 Quickly. Now then, up you go. 163 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:12,160 You must go straight home and drop 164 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:13,880 into some hot mustard or something. 165 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,200 Yeah! And I should drop this in, too, if I were you! 166 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:17,240 You're not, so bring it up. 167 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:18,920 If you can just tell me where I can return these-- 168 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,120 Don't worry, I'll go around for them. 169 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:21,200 Well, I think I'd better send them. 170 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:23,640 Whatever you say. Just send them to me at the Harbour Hotel. 171 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:24,480 Hey, just a minute! 172 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:25,720 You might route the lightship or something. 173 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:26,720 I'll see you get it back. 174 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,640 Lieutenant Commander Peter Fraser, Harbour Hotel. 175 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,640 You're very young to be a lieutenant commander. 176 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:32,280 Giving us youngsters a chance at last, 177 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:33,800 retiring some of these doddery old admirals. 178 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:34,560 Ahh. 179 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:35,680 About time, too, don't you think? 180 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:36,840 May I take that? 181 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:38,040 Well, I'm sure I don't want it, miss. 182 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:39,040 You're sure I can't help you any further? 183 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,360 Well, you could just tie the dingy up. 184 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:41,120 Yes, do that. 185 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:42,680 Is there any chance of my seeing you again? 186 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,280 I'm afraid there may be, captain. 187 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:46,800 There's plenty of chance of you seein' me again! 188 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:49,360 Until I get me jersey, me jeans, and me shoes, 189 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:51,400 and me oilskins, see? 190 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:57,240 [ GENTLE, QUAINT MUSIC ] 191 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:03,680 Hello, Willy. 192 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:04,840 Miss Jane! 193 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,480 Here, take this, will you? 194 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:07,560 Where's Grandpa? 195 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:09,200 Sir Maximilian's in the drawing room. 196 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,120 Thanks. 197 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:11,880 But what do you wish me to do with this? 198 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:13,000 Now, Willy. 199 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:15,440 Well, what is it, my man? 200 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,640 Your man is a girl and the girl is your granddaughter. 201 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:19,560 We don't bother with things like that. 202 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,720 Go and see-- 203 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:22,240 great Scott! 204 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:24,560 Relax, darling, I got dunked in the harbour. 205 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:27,120 - Dunked in the harbour? - It was an accident, I think. 206 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,640 You haven't walked through the town like that. 207 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:31,280 It was either this, or in the nude. 208 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:33,600 You know, Jane, at times, you make it difficult 209 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,400 for me to keep my dignity at all! 210 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:36,480 Fiddle-faddle. 211 00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:39,400 You didn't even recognize me, so what chance anyone else? 212 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:42,200 And Grandpa, is the Sherwood getting a new captain tomorrow? 213 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:43,240 Sherwood? 214 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,360 Because if she is, that's all I wanted to know. 215 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:48,480 But if she isn't, I'm starting a vendetta tomorrow. 216 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:50,320 No, no, you can't do anything tomorrow, 217 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:51,560 I need you here. 218 00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:53,400 The parliamentary private secretary 219 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,080 of the first lord's coming, and I-- 220 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:56,280 But I promised to dingy over to Sue-- 221 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,440 I need you here to be nice to him! 222 00:08:58,480 --> 00:08:59,880 Oh, how awful. 223 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:01,320 Ehm, what's his name? 224 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:02,760 Wait a moment. Willy! 225 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:06,120 He's booked a room at the Harbour Hotel, 226 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:09,320 but I think we ought to ask him to stay here, you know. 227 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:10,440 Willy! 228 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,840 So sorry, sir, I was just getting rid of something for-- 229 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:15,640 - What's this man's name? - That's your granddaughter, sir. 230 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,600 No, not this man, the MP fellow. 231 00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:18,840 Oh, the PPS, Baker, sir. 232 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:19,880 - Ah! - Tom Baker. 233 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:22,200 Baker, that's it, yes. Thank you very much. 234 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:23,240 You may be pretty interested to hear, 235 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:24,480 that he's a sort of distant cousin of mine. 236 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,400 Well, I never knew anyone that wasn't. 237 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:29,120 Oh, and by the way, I've also invited 238 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:31,800 that awful bore, Tompkinson, to meet him. 239 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,000 This is gonna be the good ol' tea party. 240 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:37,280 No, my idea, you see, I thought Tompkinson, 241 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:38,960 and it's gone again. 242 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,680 - Baker, sir. - Ah, thanks, surely. 243 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,080 Baker, they might bore each other by talking, 244 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:44,880 you see, while I get my meal. 245 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:45,880 Good idea, yes. 246 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,560 I don't think they'll have very much in common, sir. 247 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:48,840 Sir Henry's a socialist MP. 248 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,560 Of course he's a socialist. What else could he be? 249 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:52,960 He wants to marry my sister, 250 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,680 what sort of fool do you think that makes him? 251 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:57,000 - Your brother-in-law, sir. - Exactly. 252 00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:59,240 Now, Jane, in case this mister-- 253 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,280 - Baker, sir. - I know the name. 254 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:04,360 Comes to dinner, put on something a little more dignified. 255 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,920 - I'll wear my white bikini. - Heh, yes. White suits you. 256 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:09,120 Now-- 257 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:10,720 You see, sir, Mr. Baker's a nephew 258 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,560 of old Lord McGull, the fourth earl. 259 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:15,680 Now, his eldest son by his third wife was my father, 260 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,080 and Mr. Baker's mother-- 261 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,160 Ah, this is most interesting, I quite agree, 262 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:22,240 but don't trouble me with the sordid details. 263 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:25,160 By the way, you might ring up the Harbour Hotel, and-- 264 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,760 [ JAUNTY MUSIC ] 265 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:38,520 Would you take that case in, please? 266 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:39,720 [ DOOR SLAMS ] 267 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,680 Yes, yes, right away. I'll call you back. 268 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:43,920 - Page! - Yes, sir. 269 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,000 Mr. Baker. 270 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,840 - See if he's arrived. - Yes, sir. 271 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,440 Paging Mr. Baker! 272 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:50,800 Paging Mr. Baker! 273 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:51,920 You've found him. 274 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:52,840 - Mr. Baker? - Yes. 275 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:54,320 - You're wanted at the desk, sir. - Thank you. 276 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:56,640 - You want me? Tom Baker - Ah, yes, sir. 277 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:58,040 Admiralty House have been calling, 278 00:10:58,080 --> 00:10:59,280 want to know the moment you arrive. 279 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:01,400 Well, you had a message to say that I'm arriving late. 280 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:02,880 - I have? - Yes, and later, 281 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,400 there's a do not disturb notice on the door. 282 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:05,240 There is? 283 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:07,240 But you'll give me the message first thing in the morning. 284 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,160 I see. Well, perhaps when you do arrive, 285 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,800 you'll sign here, sir, room 14. 286 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,600 I'll sign now! 287 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,680 It's just that I can't face Admiralty House 288 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,240 until I've got my strength back. 289 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:18,360 Quite understand, sir. 290 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:19,840 You can't possible understand, 291 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,200 unless you've been in the navy or in parliament. 292 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:23,440 Oilskins for Lieutenant Commander Peter Fraser. 293 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:24,640 Thank you. Page? 294 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:26,520 Peter Fraser, I don't believe it. 295 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:27,960 My height, dark hair? 296 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:28,960 About my age? 297 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,160 That's a pretty fair description. 298 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:31,640 Page, take these upstairs to 299 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:33,200 Lieutenant Commander Fraser, room 16. 300 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,120 Room 16! No, let me take 'em, will you? 301 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:36,880 But do you know the lieutenant commander? 302 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:37,720 Know him? 303 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:39,320 If it's the right Fraser, this is the biggest meeting 304 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:41,040 since Stanley found Dr. Livingstone. 305 00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:44,320 Okay, Harold, home you go. 306 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:45,600 Well, I'm rather glad about that. 307 00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:47,640 I'm sorry, I'm late. Anything I should know? 308 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,280 - It's all on the pad. - Mm-hmm. 309 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:51,920 Oh, except Mr. Tom Baker, who's just arrived, 310 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,960 hasn't arrived yet, and is upstairs with Dr. Livingstone. 311 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,360 [ WHIMSICAL TUNE ] 312 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:04,440 [ QUAINT, CURIOUS MUSIC ] 313 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:15,720 Oh, excuse me, I seem to be lost. 314 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:17,080 The notice says 13 to 19, 315 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:18,960 but that's number 11, and that one's number 10. 316 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,480 Oh, no, that's not 10, that's 18, 317 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:21,960 only the top of the eight broke off. 318 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:22,680 Broke off. 319 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,080 And that's not 11, that's 17, 320 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:25,600 only the top of the seven broke off. 321 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,520 [ CHUCKLES ] I suppose it can in the best hotel. 322 00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:29,120 - What room do you want? - Number 16. 323 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:30,440 There we are. 324 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,120 Oh, this one's number nine. 325 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,600 Oh, no, that's a six, but it keeps slipping down, 326 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:37,360 and the one got lost or something. 327 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,880 This floor seems to have had rather a bashing, doesn't it? 328 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:42,160 Yes, it was that week the American fleet was in. 329 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:43,960 [ CHUCKLES ] I see. 330 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:45,760 [ KNOCKING ] 331 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:46,480 Oh! 332 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,200 He won't be able to hear you. He's in the bath. 333 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:52,200 You don't run conducted tours of the waxworks, too, do you? 334 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:54,280 No, I don't need any nylons, chewing gum, 335 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,000 or American cigarettes either. 336 00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:58,760 I'll bet you don't. 337 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:01,400 [ PETER SINGING ] 338 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:02,920 Lieutenant Commander Fraser? 339 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:03,760 PETER: Eh? 340 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,280 There's a bundle of oilskins for you. 341 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,200 Oilskins? Oilskins! 342 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,520 - Well, bring 'em up! - They are up! 343 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:10,760 Is there a note with them? 344 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,600 - There doesn't seem to be. - Well, undo them! 345 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:14,880 Certainly, sir. You wish me to have them pressed for you? 346 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:17,640 No, no, no, to see if there's a note inside, you fool. 347 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,640 I don't much like being called a fool, sir. 348 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,800 Did a young lady bring them? 349 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:23,800 Not unless she was wearing a crash helmet. 350 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:24,760 Crash helmet? 351 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,240 There doesn't seem to be a note, sir. 352 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:28,160 Oh, blast. Okay. 353 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,040 You'll find some change on the table. 354 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,280 Take a shilling. 355 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,040 Oh, that's extremely decent of you. 356 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,000 Is there any sort of a valley in this place? 357 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:36,520 Tom Baker! 358 00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:38,440 - Peter Fraser, how are you? - Ha, ha, blow me down! 359 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:41,000 - What is it, 11 years? - Piccadilly Circus, V-J night. 360 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:42,520 You climbed up on the top of Veer House, 361 00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:43,960 and stuck a tin receptacle on his head. 362 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:45,920 And you sat on a fountain in Trafalgar Square, 363 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:47,480 told the policeman you're a ping pong ball. 364 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,000 The very thought of it makes me thirsty. 365 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,000 Me too. The bell's there, the one marked waiter. 366 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,360 Well, well, so they've made you a lieutenant commander. 367 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:56,000 Yes, they have. I take over the Sherwood tomorrow. 368 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:57,280 But what are you doing here? 369 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:58,960 Well, I'm a sort of advance man. 370 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,480 Advance man? Oh, what's that? 371 00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:02,160 Well, you know before the circus comes to town, 372 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,160 they always send an advance man to pave the way. 373 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:05,800 You mean you're part of a circus? 374 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,120 Well, in a way. I'm with the admiralty. 375 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,440 The admiralty? 376 00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:10,920 You're talking to the parliamentary 377 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,360 private secretary to the first lord. 378 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,120 - Are you kidding? - There's nothing to kid about. 379 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:15,920 The first lord is due here the day after tomorrow 380 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,000 to sound out the admiral about a new chief of staff. 381 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,760 I come on ahead to, what is it they say in your vernacular? 382 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,120 See that everything is shipshape. 383 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:23,640 Then heaven help our native land. 384 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,200 I can probably have you clapped in irons for that. 385 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,560 [ KNOCKING ] Yeah? 386 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:27,680 Someone ring the bell? 387 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:28,920 We actually rang for the waiter. 388 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:29,960 Oh, the waiter's gone off. 389 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,160 It's probably the warm weather. 390 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:32,440 What we really wanted was a drink. 391 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:33,560 Is it still gin and water, Peter? 392 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:34,280 Oh, yes. 393 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,360 A bottle of gin, and charge it to me, room 14, please. 394 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,560 Oh, I'm afraid they don't allow drinks in the rooms anymore. 395 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:39,840 We'll go down to the bar. 396 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,320 - No, we want to be alone. - We do? 397 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:43,240 - Will you drink scotch? - I'll drink anything. 398 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:44,360 Well, I've got half a bottle in my room. 399 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:45,480 Thank you so much for your trouble. 400 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:46,760 - Here's a shilling. - Oh, thank you. 401 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,400 Don't thank me, thank the lieutenant commander. 402 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:49,520 [ DOOR SHUTTING ] 403 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,080 And why do we want to be alone? 404 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:52,320 Because I want you to help me. 405 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:53,840 You want some duty free cigarettes. 406 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:55,000 I'm not kidding, Pete. 407 00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:57,440 I want you to brush me up on social conditions in the navy. 408 00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:59,680 I've got a memorandum here to discuss with the old man, 409 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:01,800 and it would help me if you'd give me the lowdown 410 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:04,840 on the chaps below the stairs, the serfs below the waterline. 411 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,560 [ CHUCKLING ] you know, I just can't understand it. 412 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:07,920 How can such a thing happen? 413 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:10,080 - Such a what thing? - How can you get such a job? 414 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:11,240 Well, as member of parliament 415 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,040 for Wormsgurk in two consecutive elections-- 416 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,720 Yes, but PPS to the first lord. 417 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:16,240 Well, it's just the luck of the draw. 418 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:17,880 Take the minister of transport, for instance. 419 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,000 This year's road casualty figures have been so enormous, 420 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:21,720 they're thinking of making him minister of war. 421 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:23,080 At least there's a tie up. 422 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:24,200 You don't know anything about the navy. 423 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:25,400 That's why you're going to teach me! 424 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:26,360 Is that so? 425 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,000 The debate will be continued in room 14. 426 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,760 Well, to start with, a ship has two ends. 427 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:33,840 The sharp end, and the blunt end. 428 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:35,160 [ TRUMPET BLASTS ] 429 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,400 Now, Pete, the point is, the first lord's a devil for a fall. 430 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:38,920 He says that everything needs shaking up. 431 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:39,800 Starting with me. 432 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,480 No, but you can help me, as I can help you. 433 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:42,960 Right back into the ranks, room 14. 434 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,960 All I'm asking is that you suggest some reforms 435 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:46,160 that I can suggest to him. 436 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,040 In other words, you want me to stir it up. 437 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:49,480 I wouldn't quite put it like that. 438 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:51,520 That's how the court martial will put it. 439 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:54,320 [ DOOR THUMPS ] 440 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:58,360 [ WHIMSICAL MUSIC ] 441 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:02,720 [ KNOCKING] 442 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:05,720 I got the gin for you. 443 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:07,240 I had to pour it in a water jug, 444 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:08,560 to get it past the house keep. 445 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,000 There's a new gentleman in room 14. 446 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,480 Get clean towels and sheets. 447 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:12,560 Right away, ma'am. 448 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,040 You must have read it all in the papers. 449 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:15,320 Battleships or bombers. 450 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,400 The cabinet's going to appoint a new chief of naval staff, 451 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,800 and 15 admirals are about to get their cards and coppers. 452 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:21,800 Look Tom, glad as I am to see you again-- 453 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:22,640 No glasses! 454 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:23,800 There are glasses in my room. 455 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,000 The debate will be continued in room 16. 456 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:30,800 Psst! You've got it. 457 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,320 That's very nice of you, so have you. 458 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:34,920 You know, what you wanted. 459 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,280 - Nelly! - Yes, ma'am? 460 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:37,720 Will you please hurry up with those sheets? 461 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:38,800 Right away, ma'am. 462 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:44,280 I don't understand you, Pete. 463 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,800 Haven't you ever wanted to tell the C-in-C a thing or two? 464 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:47,760 There are times when every sailor 465 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,120 would like to tell him a thing or two, 466 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:51,120 sometimes a thing or three. I've got some glasses. 467 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,520 Here's your opportunity to tell him through me. 468 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:53,480 - Water? - Ah-ah. 469 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:54,800 You've forgotten our drinking habits. 470 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,080 Neat with a chaser. 471 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:57,640 Well, here's to new boats. 472 00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:58,960 - Ship. - Ship! 473 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:02,120 I see you can do it. 474 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,000 Ah, yes, but I no longer sit on fountains. 475 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,160 Look, Tom, I'll give you any tips I can, 476 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,120 but reform is your job. 477 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,240 Mine is to be an officer, and do my duty. 478 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,040 Lieutenant Commander Fraser, has it occurred to you, 479 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:13,280 in a way, I'm your boss? 480 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,160 That is the most unkindest cut of all. 481 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:16,520 [ CLINKING ] 482 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:22,720 [ COUGHING] 483 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:26,000 [ POUNDING ] [ GROANING ] 484 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:27,520 Have some water. 485 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:31,920 [ COUGHING ] 486 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:33,800 - Gin? - Gin. 487 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:36,040 [ WHEEZING ] Get some water, quick! 488 00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:37,160 Water it down. 489 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:38,440 Water it down, right down. 490 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:39,640 [ WHEEZING ] Fresh air! 491 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:42,640 [ INHALING ] 492 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:45,440 Wrong. 493 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:50,600 The whole thing's ridiculous. 494 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:51,920 Place is rocking like a ship. 495 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,040 Who put gin in the wattle botter? 496 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:54,800 Empty stomachs, that's the trouble. 497 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:58,360 [ CHUCKLING ] [ THUDDING ] 498 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,960 Empty stomachs, empty stomachs! 499 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,280 [ LAUGHING ] 500 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:03,920 You mustn't sit down, that's fatal. 501 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:05,920 Got to keep moving around. Drink this. 502 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:08,000 Water it right down. 503 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,360 [ CHUCKLING ] 504 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:14,320 [ COUGHING AND WHEEZING ] 505 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:15,960 [ GLASSES CLATTERING ] 506 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:19,800 [ WHEEZING ] Uh! Oh! Pull ourselves together! 507 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,800 Uh, coffee! We gotta get coffee. 508 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,200 [ COUGHING ] 509 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,000 [ LAUGHING ] 510 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,120 This is serious! [ CHUCKLING ] 511 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:31,600 [ BUZZING ] 512 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:38,720 ♪ Life on the ocean wave. 513 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,680 [ DRUNKEN SINGING ] 514 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,240 ♪ The ocean wave, 515 00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,120 ♪ Is better than life at sea ♪ 516 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:46,200 You rang the bell? 517 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:47,360 - The bell? - Coffee! 518 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:48,440 Where's the coffee? 519 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:50,280 ♪ Life on the ocean wave. ♪ Terrible service! 520 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:53,240 Do you realize that this is the parliamentary private secretary? 521 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:54,360 - Precisely! - Sir! 522 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,640 Coffee! Get coffee express. 523 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:59,160 Express-O coffee, you pretty little thing, you. 524 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:00,520 [ NELLY SQUEALS ] 525 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,480 ♪ A life on the ocean wave. ♪ 526 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,880 As a member of parliament for Wormscake-- 527 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,160 Wormsgurk! 528 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,280 I declare this room well and truly lost. 529 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:10,080 ♪ Good life on the ocean wave, 530 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:13,560 ♪ A life on the ocean wave, Life on the ocean wave, 531 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:14,680 ♪ Better than life. ♪ 532 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,440 [ WHIMSICAL MUSIC ] 533 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,400 Stand still, number one, 534 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:22,320 you're swaying about like a jellyfish, 535 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,040 you sloven-looking thing. 536 00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:26,440 [ KNOCKING ] As captain of HMS Walscott, 537 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:29,040 at ease, I am wishing to ask you, 538 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:31,920 why did you put gin in the ship's water? 539 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,480 Answer me, number one! 540 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:36,000 Inside, you plop, not outside! 541 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,560 - You mutinous dog! - Carry on, admiral! 542 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:39,760 Carry on what? 543 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,840 That's true in the navy, when in doubt, carry on. 544 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,960 Splendid. And what can I do for you, number two? 545 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,840 - It's your coffee, sir. - You beautiful number two! 546 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:49,280 Carry on, number two! 547 00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:51,000 No, no, no, no, no. 548 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,320 Don't I salute number two? 549 00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:53,440 Not like that, sure, 550 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,440 to commission her outside a cinema. 551 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,400 You're an officer and a gentleman. Like that. 552 00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,040 No, no, no, no! 553 00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:03,400 You are in no fit condition, number one. 554 00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:05,840 No fit condition at all. 555 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,600 Peter, we must sleep this off. 556 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,480 This is absolutely ridiculous! 557 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,600 So, which room is the captain's room? 558 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,000 16. 559 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,560 - And which one is this? - 16. 560 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:18,880 Good night. 561 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,400 [ SNORING ] 562 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,400 [ SHIP HORN BLOWING ] 563 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:31,880 [ HOOTING ] 564 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,240 I don't know. All these labels, 565 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,440 you'd think the public were a lotta goof nuts. 566 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:39,960 This is a gun turret, this is a quarter deck, 567 00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:41,680 this is a torpedo tube. 568 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:43,840 This is a flipping big torpedo tube. 569 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,360 - [ OFFICER ] Parker? - Sir! 570 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,040 Find Lieutenant Lashwood and tell him that his-- 571 00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:49,680 - Oh, good morning, sir. - Good morning. 572 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:50,800 Your car's waiting on the dock, sir. 573 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:51,600 Thank you. 574 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,080 All this must be finished before the new captain gets here. 575 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:55,160 Yes, sir. 576 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:56,280 Lieutenant Dobson is coming with me, 577 00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:57,640 but I want the ship's company on parade, 578 00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,400 ready to pipe the new captain to board at 09:30. 579 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:01,480 When do we open to visitors? 580 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:02,280 10 o'clock, sir. 581 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:03,480 Well, better rope off the captain's quarters. 582 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:04,760 He won't want sight-seers his first morning. 583 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:05,560 Aye-aye, sir. 584 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:06,520 Did you ring his hotel? 585 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,160 Yes, but he wasn't answering phones. 586 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:09,640 Then, our shoreline went dead. 587 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:10,720 Casey's fixing it. 588 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,640 You don't suppose he'll resent being picked up? 589 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,400 Not when he hears today's schedule. 590 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,280 The public, the first lord, and a new captain, all in one week. 591 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,280 What are they trying to do, break our spirit? 592 00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:22,160 - Harbour Hotel, please. - Yes, sir. 593 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,960 [ QUAINT MUSIC ] 594 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,360 [ SEAGULLS SQUAWKING ] 595 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:41,280 Lieutenant Commander Fraser, please. 596 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:43,080 - Oh, are you the gentlemen-- - Lieutenant Lashwood. 597 00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:44,480 Ah, yes, we've been ringing his room, 598 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:45,680 but he still doesn't answer. 599 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:47,000 Perhaps we ought to go up. 600 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,080 Uh, I understand the lieutenant commander 601 00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:51,480 was a little, shall we say, jubilant last night, 602 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:52,840 so he may be, shall we say-- 603 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:54,280 - Sleeping it off. - Shall we say. 604 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:55,920 - What number, please? - 16, first floor. 605 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,320 Thank you. [ PHONE RINGING ] 606 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:01,000 Harbour Hotel. With Mr. Thomas Baker? 607 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,360 Yes, he's here, but I can't ring him yet. 608 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,360 I understand he has a "do not disturb" sign on his door. 609 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:07,800 In fact, he has three. 610 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,560 Good morning, can you tell me where room 16 is, please? 611 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,280 - Oh, yes, just down there. - Oh, thank you. 612 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:20,560 [ KNOCKING ] Captain, sir? 613 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,000 [ KNOCKING ] Captain? 614 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,680 - Have you got a key? - A key? 615 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:29,400 You're not shore police, are you? 616 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:31,320 Don't you know a vice admiral when you see one? 617 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:32,960 Vice? Ooh. 618 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,240 [ LOCK RATTLING ] Come on, come on. 619 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:39,960 [ SNORING ] 620 00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:41,840 Uh, sir. 621 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,680 This is a fine start to an auspicious day. 622 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,000 All right, action stations. And open that window, 623 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,960 this room smells like a distillery. 624 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,200 Uh, Captain. 625 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:52,880 Captain, sir. 626 00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:55,000 Wake up. Time to get up, sir. 627 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,960 Seems a shame to wake him, the head he's gonna have. 628 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,280 Well, we must get him on board the Sherwood 629 00:22:58,320 --> 00:22:59,720 before the visitors start arriving. 630 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:00,680 Get a wet towel. 631 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,840 Will be the first time they piped a horizontal captain aboard. 632 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:03,760 [ GROANING ] Sir? 633 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:04,800 - What? - Good morning, sir. 634 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:05,880 I'm Lashwood, your number one, 635 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:07,320 and this is Sublieutenant Dobson. 636 00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:09,600 [ TOM GROANING ] Ohh, where's my head? 637 00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:11,040 Take it easy, sir, you'll be all right. 638 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:12,960 LASHWOOD: Sorry to wake you like this, sir, 639 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,480 but we thought it wiser. 640 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,440 - Who're you? - Lieutenant Lashwood, sir. 641 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,480 - We have a car downstairs. - A car? 642 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,040 - What's the time? - Just after nine, sir. 643 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:22,960 - After nine? I shall be late! 644 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:24,440 If you feel up to leaving right away, sir, 645 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:25,280 we can just about manage it. 646 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:26,400 Right away? [ CHUCKLES ] 647 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,040 I haven't shaved, and I can't meet the C-in-C 648 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,360 with a nine o'clock shadow. 649 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:30,760 Oh, we shan't see the C-in-C till later, sir. 650 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,680 There's some coffee here, sir. It's cold, but it might help. 651 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:33,920 Oh, thank you so much. 652 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:35,320 - Get the captain some-- - That's very kind. 653 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:37,800 It's awfully good of you to come and pick me up, Driftwood. 654 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:39,360 - Lashwood, sir. - Mhm! 655 00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,560 Don't you think that I make a regular occurrence to this. 656 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:42,680 No, of course not, sir. 657 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:43,720 - Comb, sir? - Oh, thank you. 658 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:45,480 I can hold my whiskey with the best of them. 659 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:46,880 I'm sure you can, sir. 660 00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:48,640 It was those gin chasers. 661 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:50,600 Gin chasers? 662 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,120 I wouldn't like the C-in-C or the first lord to see-- 663 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:55,400 Suffering cats, this uniform! 664 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,320 Don't worry, sir. We'll get it pressed when you get back. 665 00:23:57,360 --> 00:23:58,160 It's 9:10, sir. 666 00:23:58,200 --> 00:23:59,960 - Yes, and we must go. - I can't go like this! 667 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,000 Sir, we know you slept in it, 668 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:02,160 but I can assure you, nobody else will. 669 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:03,600 But I gotta get out of this-- 670 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,440 Go now, you may run smack into the visitors. 671 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:07,000 - The visitors? - It's visitors' day, sir. 672 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:09,000 And from 10 o'clock, they'll be swarming all over the place. 673 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:10,680 - That'd be terrible, I-- - It's very important, sir. 674 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,440 Yes, but are you quite sure it's wise? 675 00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:13,440 Yes, sir, we'll help you. 676 00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:14,880 Now, now, wait, you're rushing me, 677 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:16,160 and only half my head is working. 678 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,320 I'm sure you wouldn't want to walk into the public like this. 679 00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:20,640 Heaven forbid, but I must have a word with, uh, 680 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:22,360 I can't remember the room number. 681 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:23,200 It's 9:20, sir. 682 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,120 Look, sir, you can send her a message later. 683 00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:26,960 I don't want to send a message. Who's her? 684 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,160 Look, what's all the hurry about? 685 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,120 Surely I can sneak in the back way or something. 686 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,400 Sir, the first lord may descend on us at any moment. 687 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:35,200 He doesn't arrive until tomorrow. 688 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:36,320 We don't know that for certain, sir. 689 00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:37,120 But we do. 690 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:38,600 Send Commander Fraser's luggage and bill to the Sherwood. 691 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:41,000 - I haven't paid for my bill. - All taken care of, sir. 692 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:42,440 [ TOM GROANING ] 693 00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:46,320 Hi. 694 00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:50,800 All right, Jones, jump to it. 695 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:51,880 Yes, sir! 696 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,000 [ SEAGULLS SQUAWKING ] 697 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:56,920 [ CAR DOORS THUDDING ] 698 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:05,680 Is Lieutenant Commander Fraser in? 699 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:08,080 To be perfectly honest with you, I don't know. 700 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:10,120 If he's in, then somebody else is out. 701 00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:11,960 If he's out, then somebody else is in. 702 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:12,960 As somebody else. 703 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,240 I couldn't care less whether he's in or out, or up or down. 704 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:17,400 - I want my oilskins. - Your oilskins. 705 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,200 Yes, she said she'd send them back to him, 706 00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:20,320 so he'd get 'em back to me. 707 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:21,640 I see. 708 00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:23,600 I think perhaps the safest move would be for you 709 00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:25,920 to contact the lieutenant commander on the Sherwood. 710 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,240 That's one place he's certain to get to eventually. 711 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:31,000 Can you beat it, eh? I said send 'em back to me. 712 00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:33,720 No, he said, you might be out 'round the lightship. 713 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:35,360 Tryin' get 'round back with a skirt, 714 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:36,680 he was, making cow eyes at her. 715 00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:38,080 You could see he got the quivers. 716 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:41,440 - His mouth his open, anything-- - Yes, yes, HMS Sherwood. 717 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:43,520 Thank you, cook. 718 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:47,480 Here, you better relax. You got the quivers, too! 719 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,400 [ WHIMSICAL TUNE ] 720 00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:54,800 [ DEEP BREATHING ] 721 00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:56,120 Feeling better, sir? 722 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:58,600 Yes, much better, thank you. [ GROANS ] 723 00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:01,000 That was some bout. How much further? 724 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,000 Just coming into the dockyard now, sir. 725 00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:04,360 The dockyard? 726 00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:09,600 Good morning, sir. 727 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:11,200 Lieutenant Commander Fraser, HMS Sherwood. 728 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:12,760 Carry on, sir, please. 729 00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:16,680 Now, wait a minute, you don't understand, I-- 730 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:19,400 You've gotta stop this car immediately! 731 00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:20,560 I know just how you feel, sir. 732 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:22,080 Only a couple of hundred yards to go. 733 00:26:22,120 --> 00:26:23,760 Try and hold out. 734 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:26,680 You shouldn't have said that. 735 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:33,240 [ ENGINE CAR STOPS ] 736 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:41,840 Easy does it, sir. 737 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:43,960 [ WHIMSICAL TUNE ] 738 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:46,840 NAVY MAN: Ship's company! 739 00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:48,520 Ship's company, front! 740 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:50,000 [ BOOTS STOMPING ] 741 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,640 [ SEAGULLS SQUAWKING ] 742 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:57,680 I must get to a telephone, do you understand? 743 00:26:57,720 --> 00:26:59,080 It's imperative that I get to a telephone. 744 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:00,280 Don't worry about a thing, sir. 745 00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:01,640 There's a shoreline in your cabin. 746 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:02,840 But I-- 747 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:04,360 Right, get me there quick. 748 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:06,400 [ CLATTERING ] 749 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:11,480 [ WHISTLES BLOWING ] 750 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:17,920 Very nice, well done. 751 00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:19,320 Telephone. 752 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,960 [ SEAGULLS SQUAWKING ] 753 00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:26,360 - Downstairs? - Downstairs. 754 00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,680 [ CLUNKING AND CLATTERING ] 755 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,680 - Are you all right, sir? - Yes, yes, thank you. 756 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:34,560 Lucky you didn't break anything, sir. 757 00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:37,680 It's this sword which keeps getting between my legs. 758 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:39,480 Would you be kind enough to put it in the cloak room? 759 00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:40,280 Thank you so much. 760 00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:42,440 - Your cabin's down there, sir. - Yes. 761 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:44,080 Your luggage came yesterday. 762 00:27:44,120 --> 00:27:46,480 - What about the telephone? - In your cabin, sir. 763 00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:49,000 Oh, yes, perhaps the waiter could get me some coffee. 764 00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:51,600 - Black, sir? - Jet black. 765 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:56,240 - What's he doing? - Sir. 766 00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:57,680 We had a line fall this morning, sir. 767 00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:59,080 - Not fixed yet, Casey? - Nearly, sir. 768 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,000 - Should he carry on, sir? - Oh, yes, carry on. 769 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,000 Let everybody carry on, just as if I wasn't here. 770 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:04,960 Perhaps you'd care to join us in the wardroom, sir. 771 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:06,800 Yes, I'd like, no, I think it'd be safer. 772 00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:08,640 Oh, better if I stay here. 773 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:10,280 I hope your quarters are all right, sir. 774 00:28:10,360 --> 00:28:11,840 Oh, yes, very snug. 775 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:13,520 Perhaps somebody might open the window. 776 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:14,880 [ SCREWDRIVER CLUNKS ] 777 00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:16,240 Yes, sir. 778 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:18,800 [ KNOCKING ] 779 00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:20,520 - First visitors aboard, sir. - Thank you, sergeant. 780 00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:23,200 - Any further orders, sir? - No, no, do what you always do. 781 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,480 Give them tea, crumpets, anything you like. 782 00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:26,880 Tea and crumpets, sir? 783 00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:27,920 Well, the tax payer's got to be allowed 784 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:29,160 to inspect his property sooner or later. 785 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,000 Scratch the paint, chuck cigarette ends around. 786 00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:31,840 Yes, sir. 787 00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:33,160 They've all got votes, you know. 788 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,320 Carry on, number one! [ GROANS ] 789 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:37,600 - Carry on. - Yes, sir. 790 00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,280 - And you carry on, too. - Yes, sir, aye-aye, sir. 791 00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:41,360 [ DOOR SLAMS ] 792 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,000 DOBSON: How is he? 793 00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:46,280 You ask me, he's still tight. 794 00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:48,040 Stale tight, that's the only explanation. 795 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,200 Looks like we've got a bottle-a-day man. 796 00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:53,960 I wonder if I could transfer to another ship. 797 00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:55,480 I don't think I can stand six months of this. 798 00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:56,760 We'd better keep it from the ratings. 799 00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:58,200 Anyone asks, he's got the flu. 800 00:28:58,240 --> 00:28:59,360 Full of penicillin. 801 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:00,400 Charles! 802 00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:01,920 Lieutenant! 803 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:03,680 Ahh! 804 00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:05,360 Morning, Dobby. 805 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:06,360 Oh, good morning, Miss Lashwood. 806 00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:07,120 Morning, brother. 807 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:08,840 - Will you come to lunch? - Darling, I can't. May I? 808 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:09,520 Of course. 809 00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:11,040 Jane Godfrey's invited me to Admiralty House. 810 00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:12,000 Isn't it exciting? 811 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,360 I'm gonna meet Thomas Baker, the new PPS to the first lord. 812 00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:16,040 - Is that so exciting? - It is for me. 813 00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:17,920 Susan won't rest until she's on the board of the admiralty. 814 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,880 And the board of the admiralty could do with a woman. 815 00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:21,360 You're speaking theoretically, I trust. 816 00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:22,560 Come on, where is he? 817 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:23,840 - Where is who? - The new exhibit! 818 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:25,240 Shh, Susan, please! 819 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:26,720 Well, you don't think I've driven all this way 820 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:28,360 just to take a look at you two. 821 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,960 If you're referring to the new captain, he's in his cabin. 822 00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:32,520 Then, I'm gonna take a peak! 823 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:33,600 Susan! 824 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:35,440 Miss Lashwood, Miss Lashwood! 825 00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:37,920 He's a little under the weather. 826 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:39,080 Oh, sticky night. 827 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:40,000 - Whiskey with gin chasers. 828 00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:41,720 Well, at least he's got colour. 829 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:43,040 It's a Gray-green one this morning. 830 00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:45,080 Then, you can both give me a drink in the wardroom. 831 00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:46,720 - Oh, here, wait! - Wait a minute, wait! 832 00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:47,960 Why, what's the matter? 833 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,960 I'd like to try a whiskey and gin chaser. 834 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:51,640 Susan, for heaven's sake! 835 00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:58,000 Oh, hello, sir. 836 00:29:58,360 --> 00:29:59,360 Did you want anything? 837 00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:00,960 No, no, he's still fixing the telephone. 838 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:02,120 I thought perhaps I'd take 839 00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:04,000 a breather upstairs, if you don't mind. 840 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:05,400 Oh, this is my sister, sir. 841 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:06,720 How do you do, Mrs. Lashwood? 842 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:07,520 - Susan. - Susan! 843 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:09,040 Would you like to have a drink with us, sir? 844 00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:10,720 No, I'll keep an eye on the telephone. 845 00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:12,200 But you said they were still fixing it. 846 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,800 Come on, I've driven all this way just to take a look at you. 847 00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:15,600 - You have? - Susan-- 848 00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:17,160 Oh, shush, I know all about the captain. 849 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:17,880 Do you? 850 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:19,520 I looked you up in the navy list. 851 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:21,440 You were in Russian convoys and submarines during the war. 852 00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:23,720 I was in Russian convoys, yes, I think I will have a drink. 853 00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:25,280 Fine! [ CHUCKLES ] 854 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,200 Were you in the August the 15th show, sir? 855 00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:28,560 Dive bombers were pretty hot, weren't they? 856 00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:31,920 Well, actually, I found the intense cold was the worst. 857 00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:32,840 What, in August? 858 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,360 Oh, yes, it's freezing in Finland all the year 'round. 859 00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:37,160 Perpetual darkness, thank you, sir. 860 00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:39,000 Excuse me, sir, there's a private launch alongside. 861 00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:40,800 The cockswain's acting for Lieutenant Commander Fraser. 862 00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:42,120 Well, does he want? 863 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:43,560 - Oilskins, sir. - Oilskins? 864 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,000 He says that you borrowed his oilskins. 865 00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:46,760 Yes, that's right, it was raining. 866 00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:49,200 Ask him to come back later, I haven't unpacked yet. 867 00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:50,520 Dobby, you'd better say to this. 868 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:51,960 I really must get back to the telephone. 869 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,240 It's a most urgent call. If you'll excuse me. 870 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:57,400 [ PEOPLE MURMURING ] 871 00:30:58,280 --> 00:30:59,280 [ THUD ] 872 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:01,680 It's a silly thing to have in a boat. 873 00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,760 - Well, for heaven's sake. - That's putting it mildly! 874 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:06,760 Does one go to Finland with a Russian convoy? 875 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:08,200 One does not, he's raving! 876 00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:09,520 Pity, he's rather attractive. 877 00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:10,840 I think I'll stick around for a while. 878 00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:12,640 Don't you want to get ready for this Baker character? 879 00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:14,880 But there's plenty of time. Willy's just left to pick him up! 880 00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:16,040 Can I get you a drink, miss? 881 00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:18,120 Yes, I'll have a whiskey and gin chaser. 882 00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:21,200 [ DOOR SLAMS ] 883 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:22,600 [ SIGHS ] 884 00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:24,640 Give me a cigarette, will you? 885 00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:25,840 You're already smoking, sir. 886 00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:27,040 Oh, yes, so I am. 887 00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:33,520 - Good morning. - Good morning. 888 00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:35,040 From Admiralty House, Mr. Thomas Baker. 889 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:36,960 Oh, yes, you're the gentleman who's been calling. 890 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,120 - He's not still sleeping? - I'll try him again. 891 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:40,560 Perhaps he's dead. 892 00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:44,240 [ PHONE RINGING ] 893 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:51,600 [ DEEP BREATHING ] 894 00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:54,840 [ PHONE RINGING ] 895 00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:59,080 Hello. 896 00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:01,320 Hello? 897 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:03,760 [ CLACKS ] 898 00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:08,760 All right, all right, I'm coming. 899 00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:12,160 [ PHONE RINGING ] 900 00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:14,400 [ GROANS ] 901 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:21,440 Hello? [ RATTLING ] 902 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:23,400 Please. [ RATTLING ] 903 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,000 Please, a little quieter. 904 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:26,880 Now, what were you saying? 905 00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:28,240 Oh, excuse me, sir. 906 00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,800 The commander-in-chief's flag lieutenant is here for you. 907 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:32,760 Yes, I'm quite sure. 908 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:34,280 Good morning, sir! 909 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,520 I brought the C-in-C's car for you! 910 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:38,000 The C-in-C's car? 911 00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:40,240 Good Lord, does he know about it? 912 00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:41,840 He ordered it? 913 00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:44,520 Oh, well, you better come right up. 914 00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:45,920 Yes. 915 00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:47,760 [ PHONE CLICKING ] The C-in-C? 916 00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:50,160 [ EERIE TUNE ] 917 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:56,480 [ WHIMSICAL MUSIC ] 918 00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:59,760 Oh, Peter Fraser, you were stinking last night. 919 00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:02,560 [ DIZZYING TUNE ] 920 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:10,800 [ KNOCKING ] 921 00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:11,920 Come in. 922 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:13,520 Oh. 923 00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:15,200 - It's me, sir! - Hello. 924 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:16,880 I'm very honoured to meet you, sir. 925 00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:18,400 I'm very honoured to meet you. 926 00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:19,960 This is very civil of the admiral. 927 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,120 He checked up you didn't have transport of your own. 928 00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:24,200 Is this part of the new navy reforms? 929 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,000 [ LAUGHING ] That's very good. 930 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:28,680 - Is it? - Naval reforms. 931 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:31,000 Oh, well, I'll be right back. 932 00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:32,600 I've just to see somebody down the passage. 933 00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:34,920 - Ah-haa! - No, no, wrong sex. 934 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:36,440 Be right back. 935 00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:40,080 [ DYNAMIC MUSIC ] 936 00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:42,800 Oh, good morning. Where's Mr. Baker? 937 00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:43,760 Oh, who's he? 938 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,000 The gentleman who was here last night. 939 00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:46,920 There were so many people in here last night. 940 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,240 No, no, no, dear, the tall, thin one. 941 00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:49,400 He was in here with me. 942 00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:50,920 - In uniform? - Yes, part of the time. 943 00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:52,200 - Oh, he's gone. - Gone? 944 00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:53,120 Gone where? 945 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:54,720 Well, don't ask me, the vice admiral 946 00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:56,200 came in and took him away. 947 00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:57,600 Vice admiral? 948 00:33:57,720 --> 00:33:58,880 Holy cats! 949 00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:01,640 [ FRANTIC MUSIC ] 950 00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:02,720 How long will it take to get there? 951 00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:04,480 - About 10 minutes. - Right, let's go. 952 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:06,280 We're in a great hurry. 953 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:16,960 Oh, send my bill to the ship. 954 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:17,760 The ship? 955 00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:19,480 HMS Sherwood, Lieutenant Commander Fraser. 956 00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:20,760 Good morning. 957 00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:23,240 [ PHONE RINGING ] 958 00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:25,920 Harbour Hotel? Who? 959 00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:27,680 Lieutenant Commander Fraser? 960 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:29,280 No, he went out this morning. 961 00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:30,320 Or just now. 962 00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,120 All right then, put me through to Mr. Baker. 963 00:34:32,240 --> 00:34:34,400 It's absolutely imperative that I speak to him. 964 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:36,600 Gone where? Admiralty House? 965 00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:38,760 [ CLICKING ] Hello! 966 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:40,160 Get me Admiralty house, priority. 967 00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:41,400 [ KNOCKING] Who is it? 968 00:34:42,240 --> 00:34:43,320 Who is it? 969 00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:46,520 - Your coffee, sir. - Oh, thank you. 970 00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,400 Thank you very much. [ COIN CLINKS ] 971 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:53,000 Carry on. 972 00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:55,360 [ CAR RUMBLING ] 973 00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:58,120 There won't be any piping aboard, 974 00:34:58,200 --> 00:34:59,200 or anything of that, will there? 975 00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:01,880 Oh, no. The admiral's saving all that for the first lord. 976 00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:03,240 Finally, I can change these clothes. 977 00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:04,480 Here we are. 978 00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:05,960 But this isn't the dockyard. 979 00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:08,000 Good Lord, no. This is Admiralty House. 980 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:08,560 Huh? 981 00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:10,360 [ BIRDS SINGING ] 982 00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:12,360 I don't want Admiralty House, I want to go to-- 983 00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:13,920 Welcome aboard, Mr. Baker! 984 00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:17,000 Welcome aboard. Thank heavens for the sense of humour. 985 00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:19,360 One needs one these days, eh? [ LAUGHS ] 986 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:22,720 Oh, this is my flag lieutenant. Oh, you-- you've met him. 987 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:24,840 Well, don't stand dogging there. 988 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:26,240 - Bring him in! - Yes, sir. 989 00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:27,400 Look, sir, I don't know-- 990 00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:30,040 Not another word until you've made your phone call. 991 00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:31,640 Bring him in, Willy, bring him in. 992 00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:33,440 - Phone call? - [ CHUCKLING ] Yes. 993 00:35:33,720 --> 00:35:35,720 But sir, what you don't understand-- 994 00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:37,160 Two minutes ago from the Sherwood. 995 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:39,840 - Sherwood? - Most urgent, priority. 996 00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:41,400 What was his name, Willy? 997 00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:42,640 Baker, sir. 998 00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:45,120 No, not his name, the man that phoned! 999 00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:47,840 - Oh, I wasn't here, sir. - Why are you never here? 1000 00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:49,800 Do you know, Fraser! I've got it. 1001 00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:51,440 Yes, Lieutenant Commander Fraser. 1002 00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:53,680 I thought of it, yes, Lieutenant Commander Fraser. 1003 00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:55,120 Lieutenant Commander Fraser? 1004 00:35:55,240 --> 00:35:58,280 He said he wants you to call him on the ship right away. 1005 00:35:58,360 --> 00:35:59,800 - Where is he? - In the hall, sir. 1006 00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:01,320 What's he doing there? Mr. Baker! 1007 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:02,320 Are you sure he said 1008 00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:03,480 Lieutenant Commander Fraser, sir? 1009 00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:06,080 Quite sure, he said it about eight times. 1010 00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:08,080 He was in quite a state. 1011 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:09,880 Now, where would you like to take it? 1012 00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:11,160 Willy'll get it for you. 1013 00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:14,600 In the garden, here, or in the study? 1014 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:18,200 My granddaughter's put telephones everywhere. 1015 00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:20,120 You'll even find one at the lavatory. 1016 00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:21,720 In the study, sir, if you don't mind. 1017 00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:23,360 Willy, in the study. 1018 00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:27,800 Well, well, this is a lovely surprise for us, Mr. Baker. 1019 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:29,880 I suppose you and I'll have a lot 1020 00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:31,360 of interesting things to talk about. 1021 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:32,400 I'm sure, sir. 1022 00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:35,920 You being so close to the first lord, 1023 00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:39,280 you could tell me some startling things! [LAUGHS ] 1024 00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:40,400 Make your hair curl, sir. 1025 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:42,640 That's what we want, a shakeup! 1026 00:36:42,720 --> 00:36:44,320 Too many young whippersnappers, 1027 00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:45,960 thinking they know it all, ha ha! 1028 00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:47,280 Have a sherry? 1029 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:48,840 No, thank you, sir, I won't drink. 1030 00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:50,200 - You won't drink? - This morning. 1031 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:51,960 Willy, Willy! 1032 00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:53,000 Sir? 1033 00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:54,320 What are you doing? 1034 00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:55,760 Getting out to the Sherwood, sir. 1035 00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:56,920 Oh, yes, right then. 1036 00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,960 The man's a blithering idiot. 1037 00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:01,200 Oh, we're having lunch before we discuss 1038 00:37:01,240 --> 00:37:02,480 tomorrow's arrangement. 1039 00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:04,640 - A good idea, sir. - We'll luncheon in the garden, 1040 00:37:04,720 --> 00:37:06,880 if you're not allergic to flowers or anything. 1041 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:08,000 Not to flowers, sir. 1042 00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:09,400 WILLY: Lieutenant Commander Fraser. 1043 00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:10,680 - Yes? - He's on the phone, sir. 1044 00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:13,000 Oh, yes, of course, the phone. 1045 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:15,280 Excuse me. 1046 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,600 [ PLAYFUL MUSIC ] 1047 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:19,840 Hello? 1048 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:22,080 Tom? What the devil are you doing there? 1049 00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:24,480 If it comes to that, what the devil are you doing there? 1050 00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:25,880 Yes, well, mine's an even longer story, 1051 00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:28,520 and I'm relying on you to shorten it as quickly as possible. 1052 00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:31,760 Yes, they think I'm you. My cabin! Your cabin. 1053 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,360 Holy cats, you must get off that ship as quickly as possible. 1054 00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:36,680 Shut up a minute while I think. 1055 00:37:36,720 --> 00:37:37,720 [ KNOCKING ] 1056 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:39,960 Yes, I'll inform the first lord about that, 1057 00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:43,760 just as soon as he arrives. Yes, that's what I said. 1058 00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:45,920 No, I'm not mad, somebody came in. 1059 00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:47,760 Now, you must go straight to the hotel. 1060 00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:50,440 The moment you get there, call me here. 1061 00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:53,360 Yes, then I'll join the ship, ball the tar out of them 1062 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:56,680 for accepting you as an imposter, and start as you and cry for you. 1063 00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:57,840 You do the same this end. 1064 00:37:58,080 --> 00:37:59,920 It's not so get out of here. 1065 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,080 Every time I want to go upstairs, 1066 00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:02,560 I have to pass the wardroom. 1067 00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:04,200 The boat's built so stupidly! 1068 00:38:04,240 --> 00:38:07,360 All right then, wait till she fills up a bit with visitors. 1069 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:09,920 They have a marine band later, and then slip off. 1070 00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:11,400 But for Pete's sake, keep your head. 1071 00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:13,080 I can be court martialed for this. 1072 00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:14,840 And I can get thrown out of the government. 1073 00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:17,080 And more than that, you know what worries me? 1074 00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:18,800 This isn't the only place where they have visiting day. 1075 00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:21,120 If you think you have troubles, what about me? 1076 00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:22,920 I'm up to my naval handbook! 1077 00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:24,280 [ PHONE CLUNKS ] 1078 00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:35,760 Come in, Baker, come in. 1079 00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:37,960 - Everything all right? - For the moment, sir. 1080 00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:40,640 Well, I expect you two know each other already. 1081 00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:42,840 You're both members of the best club in London. 1082 00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:43,960 We are? 1083 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:45,880 Isn't that what they call the House of Commons? 1084 00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:48,360 - Oh, the House of Commons. - No, I don't think we've met. 1085 00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:50,680 This is Sir Henry Tompkinson, our local member, 1086 00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:52,800 and this is mister, mister, uh-- 1087 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:54,400 I thought you both knew each other. 1088 00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:56,520 - Oh, I'm a new boy, sir. - Are you a maiden? 1089 00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:57,680 No, sir, I'm a new boy. 1090 00:38:57,720 --> 00:38:59,320 Yes, but have you made your maiden speech yet? 1091 00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:02,200 - Oh, yes, several times. - Strange, I haven't seen you. 1092 00:39:02,240 --> 00:39:04,240 Mister, uh, he's parliamentary 1093 00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:06,320 private secretary to the first lord. 1094 00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:09,200 PPS! Well, by George, this is a surprise! 1095 00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:10,280 It was to me. 1096 00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:11,840 Well, sit down, sit down, 1097 00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:13,480 and you can both talk yourselves-- 1098 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:15,120 - Sherry, sir? - Ah, yes. 1099 00:39:15,720 --> 00:39:19,000 So, Mr. Baker, you're a member of the present government, eh? 1100 00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:20,360 Well, only in a very small way. 1101 00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,680 No mind, I won't hold it against you. 1102 00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:23,840 What's your constituency? 1103 00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:26,640 Constituency? Oh, my constituency. 1104 00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:27,840 Wormsgurk. 1105 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,920 Wormsgurk! By George, then you must have 1106 00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:31,200 unseated my old friend Fairfax. 1107 00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:33,000 Yes, I must. 1108 00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:35,200 Mr. Baker's a nephew of Lord McGull, sir, 1109 00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:36,400 the fourth earl. 1110 00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:37,480 His mother-- 1111 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:39,480 Yes, yes, he knows what his mother was. 1112 00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:41,920 Interesting! Then, you must be a relation 1113 00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:43,840 of my old friend Lady Rachel Crumper. 1114 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:45,160 Well, only a distant one. 1115 00:39:45,240 --> 00:39:47,920 I suppose the poor old lady lives very quietly nowadays. 1116 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:49,720 Yes, we practically never hear her at all. 1117 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:51,000 Tell me. 1118 00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,200 Has that husband of hers pulled himself together, 1119 00:39:53,240 --> 00:39:55,240 or does he still suffer from bouts? 1120 00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:57,080 We try not to mention the subject. 1121 00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:59,120 Of course, of course, forgive me. 1122 00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:00,720 - Forget what I said. - With pleasure. 1123 00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:03,080 Gramps, I don't know what to do about lunch. 1124 00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:04,320 Susan hasn't arrived yet. 1125 00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:06,000 Lunch? Great Scott, eight bells already. 1126 00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:08,120 Well, well, if it isn't miss Jane, 1127 00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:09,760 and getting bonnier every day. 1128 00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:11,280 Several inches too bonny. 1129 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:12,480 Do you know my granddaughter? 1130 00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:14,800 - I'd like to know her better. - And how is Sir Henry? 1131 00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,240 Still in the forefront of the battle? 1132 00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:17,880 Well, duty still calls, you know. 1133 00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:20,120 I've tried to retire, but the public won't let me go. 1134 00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:21,840 They nearly did last time, didn't they? 1135 00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:23,480 What was your majority, 27? 1136 00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:24,960 Certainly not. There was a recount. 1137 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:26,440 - What was it, then? - 29. 1138 00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:27,960 Oh, pardon me. 1139 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,240 Jane, we mustn't forget our guest of honour. 1140 00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:31,440 Where is he? Oh, there. 1141 00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:33,400 Mr. Baker? My granddaughter. 1142 00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:34,440 How do you do? 1143 00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:36,760 Fine, thanks. And you? 1144 00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,360 Willy, take that damn plant out of his face. 1145 00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:40,960 We were waiting for a girlfriend of mine 1146 00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:41,960 who's dying to meet you. 1147 00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:43,600 Oh, I wouldn't wait if I were you. 1148 00:40:43,720 --> 00:40:44,960 I'm so sorry. 1149 00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:47,000 Course not, wretched girl's late. 1150 00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:48,520 She can meet him some other time. 1151 00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:50,360 - Ring for lunch, will you? - Yes, sir. 1152 00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,120 This must be quite a surprise to you. 1153 00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:53,960 I mean, expect you expected Tom Baker 1154 00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:55,720 to be some fat, bald-headed old man. 1155 00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:56,720 I certainly never expected-- 1156 00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:57,840 No! Of course not. 1157 00:40:57,880 --> 00:40:59,160 Just like you, I never expected 1158 00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:02,080 someone like you to be Admiral Neptune's granddaughter. 1159 00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:03,520 Admiral-- [ PHONE RINGING ] 1160 00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:05,200 Telephone. Must be for me. 1161 00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:07,440 Admiralty House. 1162 00:41:07,720 --> 00:41:08,720 Yes. 1163 00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:10,680 On board the Sherwood. 1164 00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:12,360 Yes. Very good. 1165 00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:14,920 A message from Mrs. Susan. 1166 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:16,200 She says will you forgive her, 1167 00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:17,800 she's lunching on board the Sherwood, 1168 00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:19,560 with Lieutenant Commander Fraser. 1169 00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:20,720 [ GLASS SHATTERS ] 1170 00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:22,320 Skol. 1171 00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:26,000 Skol. [ GLASS SHATTERS ] 1172 00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:27,520 What about this lunch, Willy? 1173 00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:32,320 [ BRASS BAND MUSIC ] 1174 00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:36,560 [ PEOPLE CHATTERING ] 1175 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:50,520 Tea and crumpets. 1176 00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:52,000 If this ever gets around the harbour, 1177 00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:52,920 we'll never live it down. 1178 00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:55,440 The Cleopatra's already asked when we stop for tombola. 1179 00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:56,480 Where is he now? 1180 00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:58,440 Wandering around the ship somewhere. 1181 00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:00,600 I've stopped him half over the gangway twice. 1182 00:42:00,720 --> 00:42:02,840 Trying to make up my mind whether he's tight or balmy. 1183 00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:05,480 Look, mister! My kids want to see the torpedoes. 1184 00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:07,520 Torpedoes? Yes, along there on the port side. 1185 00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:10,000 Port side? That's where dad got those post cards! 1186 00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:11,040 Post cards? 1187 00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:13,040 Don't you talk about those post cards, Alfie! 1188 00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:14,600 [ DISCUSSING ] 1189 00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:24,640 - Lieutenant Commander! - [ CHUCKLES ] Hello! 1190 00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:26,240 What are you trying to do, 1191 00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:28,000 abandon ship or something? 1192 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:30,400 Whatever makes you say that? 1193 00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:32,000 You haven't answered my question. 1194 00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:33,240 [ HE CHUCKLES ] 1195 00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,040 Why should I want to abandon ship? 1196 00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:36,080 You tell me. 1197 00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,480 Are you a dipso, a schizo or a nut? 1198 00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:41,000 I feel like all three. 1199 00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:43,880 Tell me, how much that you know? 1200 00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:45,960 Only that your geography is very shaky. 1201 00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,360 Finland and Russian convoys don't tie up! 1202 00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:49,600 And, uh-- 1203 00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:51,000 You're wearing Gray socks. 1204 00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:54,680 Uh, come to my cabin. 1205 00:42:54,720 --> 00:42:56,000 Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute! 1206 00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:58,040 Please, I've got to tell someone or I'll bust. 1207 00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:00,080 I promise not to drug you or anything. 1208 00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:03,560 The truth, the whole truth? 1209 00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:04,600 So help me. 1210 00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:06,400 [ CRASHING, CLATTERING ] 1211 00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:10,520 Why don't they put proper banisters on the-- 1212 00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:12,600 - Did you have to-- - Shh! 1213 00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:19,120 Susan, miss Susan, 1214 00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:20,920 I am not Lieutenant Commander Fraser. 1215 00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:22,120 More? 1216 00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:24,200 You know what this is? 1217 00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:25,560 It's a House of Commons pass. 1218 00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:27,520 It is, it's mine. I'm Thomas Baker. 1219 00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:29,120 - You know I had a hunch? - You did? 1220 00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:31,880 Baker, the parliament pinup. The lady wins a cigar. 1221 00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:32,800 Well, how did you hunch? 1222 00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:34,400 Intuition, maybe, or coincidence. 1223 00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:35,720 I've seen your picture somewhere, 1224 00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:37,000 and I was supposed to lunch with you 1225 00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:38,040 at Admiralty House today. 1226 00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:39,160 That would have been wonderful. 1227 00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:40,840 Instead, I lunched with you here. 1228 00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:42,080 That was terrible. 1229 00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:43,640 But what are you doing on this ship? 1230 00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:44,720 Trying to get off it! 1231 00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:46,880 But every time I try, somebody tries to stop me! 1232 00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:48,280 - What's that? - What's what? 1233 00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:50,560 The band stopped playing. Why's the band stopped? 1234 00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:53,120 Probably for breath, you've had them playing since noon. 1235 00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:54,680 You see what a state I'm in. 1236 00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:57,400 Susan, you have a beautiful face, a kind face. 1237 00:43:57,520 --> 00:43:59,360 Don't ever give it away. The game, I mean. 1238 00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:00,880 That depends on your story. 1239 00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:02,840 After all, it's your brother's job to find me out, not yours. 1240 00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:04,520 So far, he only thinks you're tight. 1241 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,200 Susan. Sit down. 1242 00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:10,360 The story goes back to the time when I was a ping pong ball, 1243 00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:12,840 on a fountain in Trafalgar Square. 1244 00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:17,680 [ PEOPLE CHATTERING ] 1245 00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:28,000 - Excuse me, sir. - Yes? 1246 00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:30,040 - Signal for the captain. - Well, I'm not the captain. 1247 00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:31,960 No, sir. Can't find him, sir. 1248 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:33,360 - Have you tried his cabin? - No, sir. 1249 00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:35,080 Try that, if he's not there, bring it back to me. 1250 00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:36,160 Aye-aye, sir. 1251 00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:39,160 Now, what can that be? More trouble? 1252 00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:41,160 You mean we can have more? 1253 00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:46,880 [ SUSAN LAUGHING ] 1254 00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:57,480 And you mean he's at Admiralty House now? 1255 00:44:57,560 --> 00:44:59,360 Yes, and he's waiting for me to get to the hotel! 1256 00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:01,240 I can't wait to see the admiral's face! 1257 00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:02,560 Susan, I put my trust in you! 1258 00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:04,280 Relax, we're going to get you off the ship. 1259 00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:05,560 You know, I could kiss you for this. 1260 00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,160 No, you're going to go up on deck, 1261 00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:08,640 and in a few minutes, I'll come up, 1262 00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:10,000 and ask you to escort me to my car. 1263 00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:11,440 You wouldn't like to be my parliamentary 1264 00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:12,400 private secretary, would you? 1265 00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:14,400 - Jump to it, man! - Jump to it, man! 1266 00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:16,600 [ DOOR SLAMS ] 1267 00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:18,960 [ PEOPLE CHATTERING ] 1268 00:45:19,720 --> 00:45:21,200 Oh, excuse me, would you? 1269 00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:23,720 Sir, captain's-- 1270 00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:26,120 - Not in his cabin, sir. - All right. 1271 00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:30,680 Sir. 1272 00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:33,720 Ah, this is all we need. 1273 00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:35,840 Signal to all ships, first lord's in port now. 1274 00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:36,800 Wasn't that tomorrow? 1275 00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:38,000 Oh, that's what he likes doing. 1276 00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:39,520 Catches everyone on the hop. 1277 00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:41,120 You can say that again. 1278 00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:49,480 Oh, captain, sir! 1279 00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:51,520 [ CHUCKLES ] Number one! 1280 00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:54,440 Signal just received, sir. The first lord's here. 1281 00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:56,600 - What, on board? - No, sir, ashore. 1282 00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:57,960 But this is terrible! 1283 00:45:58,040 --> 00:45:59,960 [ CHUCKLES ] Terribly good news. 1284 00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:02,480 I tell you they're fired by gun powder! 1285 00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:03,840 No, it's not, compressed air! 1286 00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:05,000 I'll compress you in a moment! 1287 00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:06,640 Now, we've had quite enough of this nonsense. 1288 00:46:06,720 --> 00:46:08,680 Look, mister, will you come and settle this argument, 1289 00:46:08,720 --> 00:46:09,840 or they'll be at it all day! 1290 00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:10,920 Lashwood! 1291 00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:13,360 Will you be quiet? Now then, listen! 1292 00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:15,480 [ CHUCKLES ] Well, now, boys, 1293 00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:16,880 what is it you want to know? 1294 00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:19,040 He says that torpedoes are fired by gunpowder! 1295 00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:20,880 And he says it's compressed air! 1296 00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:23,480 Yes, and you want to know which is right. 1297 00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:25,160 - FAMILY: Yes! - Ehm-- 1298 00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:27,720 Tell them, number one. 1299 00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:29,760 Well, the torpedo itself is discharged 1300 00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:31,520 - by gunpowder charge. - Gunpowder charge. 1301 00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:32,800 - Carriage swings out. - Swings out. 1302 00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:34,240 - How? - Swings out. 1303 00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,200 - How? - Yes, well-- 1304 00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:38,160 Show them, number one! 1305 00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:39,440 - Yes, sir. - Yes. 1306 00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:40,880 Come on, follow me. 1307 00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:50,960 [ CHUCKLES ] Discharged by gunpowder. 1308 00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:53,760 You knew, of course. We're just showing them how. 1309 00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:54,840 Yes. 1310 00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:10,000 Would you like to explain, sir? 1311 00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:11,720 No, no! Carry on, number one. 1312 00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:13,400 Well, they're all controlled from here. 1313 00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:15,280 If you press this switch, it swings them out. 1314 00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:16,480 Yes, this one here. 1315 00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:17,920 [ WHIRRING ] You see? 1316 00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:19,400 It swings them out! 1317 00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:21,080 They're generally fired from the bridge, 1318 00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:23,040 but they can be fired from that switch there. 1319 00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:24,400 - That one there. - Don't touch it! 1320 00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:25,720 [ BOOMING ] 1321 00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:26,960 [ SPLASHING ] 1322 00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:30,000 [ FRANTIC MUSIC ] 1323 00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:36,320 There's a boat going right across its course, sir. 1324 00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:39,120 To port, you fools, to port! Can't the idiot see? 1325 00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:41,080 It's-- it's the first lord's barge! 1326 00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:42,720 - What? - What? 1327 00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:46,560 [ BLAST ] 1328 00:47:46,720 --> 00:47:48,160 [ KIDS CHEERING ] 1329 00:47:48,240 --> 00:47:50,280 - The first lord. - Yes, it's all right. 1330 00:47:50,720 --> 00:47:52,320 He's in the water. He's up. 1331 00:47:52,720 --> 00:47:54,200 He's down. He's up. 1332 00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:56,200 Get a boat, quick! Admiral's launch! 1333 00:47:56,240 --> 00:47:58,120 Sub, blankets, first aid! 1334 00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:00,960 [ HONORIFIC MUSIC ] 1335 00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:02,680 Excuse me, sir, could I speak to you urgently? 1336 00:48:02,720 --> 00:48:03,520 Can I help? 1337 00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:06,000 When we go below, sir, as quickly as possible, sir. 1338 00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:07,280 Excuse me. 1339 00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:09,880 I'm really most terribly sorry. 1340 00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:11,640 - It went off in my hand! - Yes, I'm sure, sir. 1341 00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:13,760 It was a silly thing to happen. I'm so sorry! 1342 00:48:13,880 --> 00:48:16,000 You're not angry, are you? [ DOOR SLAMS ] 1343 00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:17,120 Lashwood! 1344 00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:18,320 Lashwood, open this door! 1345 00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:19,360 [ SLAMS ] 1346 00:48:19,360 --> 00:48:20,440 What are you doing, number one? 1347 00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:22,080 [ KNOCKING ] I said I was sorry! 1348 00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:23,480 Number one, open the door! 1349 00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:24,720 Lashwood! 1350 00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:27,840 Boat away, sir! 1351 00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:29,160 Now, get a doctor down for captain. 1352 00:48:29,240 --> 00:48:31,360 I think he's gone balmy. Sub? Send this in. 1353 00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:34,600 Lieutenant Commander Fraser, suffering from hallucinations, 1354 00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:36,960 impounded and unable to discharge his duties. 1355 00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:39,720 I'm making arrangements to transfer from ship 1356 00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:41,760 to hospital for observation. 1357 00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:45,000 Have assumed command, and await your instructions. 1358 00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:48,480 [ BIRDS CHIRPING ] 1359 00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:53,840 [ FRANTIC MUSIC ] 1360 00:48:57,760 --> 00:48:58,840 Now look, doctor. 1361 00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:01,320 I realize that I'm in a uniform that I shouldn't be in, 1362 00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:03,120 on a boat that I shouldn't have been on, 1363 00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:05,600 and that I fired a torpedo that I shouldn't have fired. 1364 00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:08,000 But the fact remains, I am Thomas Baker, 1365 00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:10,520 parliamentary private secretary to the first lord. 1366 00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:12,200 And when did you first feel this? 1367 00:49:12,240 --> 00:49:13,120 Feel what? 1368 00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:15,040 This delusion of dual personality. 1369 00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:18,080 Delusion of-- there's nothing dual about me, doctor! 1370 00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:19,640 I'm Thomas Baker, parliamentary 1371 00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:21,440 private secretary to the first lord! 1372 00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:22,960 - Yes! - Yes. 1373 00:49:23,240 --> 00:49:25,200 Fine, now just come over here, will you, Fraser? 1374 00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:27,880 I'm not Lieutenant Commander Fraser, I'm Thomas Baker! 1375 00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:30,640 Yes, we have all that down. We want to go on from there, 1376 00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:32,440 and back from there. Lie down, Fraser. 1377 00:49:32,520 --> 00:49:33,680 I don't want to lie down! 1378 00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:35,880 - Would you tell me your story? - I can tell it standing up! 1379 00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:37,360 Well, just lie down and relax. 1380 00:49:37,400 --> 00:49:39,480 You'll find it much easier to think lying down. 1381 00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:42,360 What we don't want you to get is a guilt complex about this. 1382 00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:44,360 You're not the only one who feels this way. 1383 00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:46,400 I know, there's another one at Admiralty House. 1384 00:49:46,480 --> 00:49:47,400 Exactly. 1385 00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:49,040 There are other ones all around us, Fraser. 1386 00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:51,160 Once we realize that, we're halfway home! 1387 00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:54,520 Now, let's try and probe back, 1388 00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:56,360 and find out where it all started. 1389 00:49:56,480 --> 00:49:59,040 It all started in Trafalgar Square on V-J night. 1390 00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:00,280 What were you doing? 1391 00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:02,560 I was sitting on-- no, this'll get us nowhere. 1392 00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:04,320 You mustn't feel ashamed of this, Fraser. 1393 00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:06,720 I assure you, we run into cases like yours every day. 1394 00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:09,400 - I very much doubt it. - Oh, but we do. 1395 00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:11,120 We ferret out the problem, and nail it down, 1396 00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:12,560 you'll know exactly what to do! 1397 00:50:12,640 --> 00:50:14,400 Look, all I want to do is get out of this uniform, 1398 00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:15,800 and back into civilian clothes! 1399 00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:17,920 Exactly. This fixation that you're a civilian, 1400 00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:19,960 stems from a frustrated subconscious desire 1401 00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:21,120 to get out of the navy. 1402 00:50:21,120 --> 00:50:24,320 I am not in the navy and I never was in the navy! 1403 00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:27,000 Now, Fraser, Fraser, you must not get upset. 1404 00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:28,600 We're all here to help you. 1405 00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:31,000 You're not helping me, you're driving me nuts! 1406 00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:34,680 Now, let's try and think back, shall we? 1407 00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:37,440 When did you first begin to hate the first lord? 1408 00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:39,160 I don't hate him. 1409 00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:41,480 He became the focal point of your inward struggle, 1410 00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:44,080 the man who in your mind represented the authority 1411 00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:45,440 you wished to cast aside. 1412 00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:47,240 I'm not trying to cast anything aside. 1413 00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:48,920 I work for the first lord. 1414 00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:51,080 I don't hate him, I respect him a lot! 1415 00:50:51,120 --> 00:50:53,640 Yet you had this urge to destroy him. 1416 00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:57,000 Doctor, I keep telling you, I pressed the button by mistake! 1417 00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:58,760 I didn't know it was loaded! 1418 00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:01,000 I didn't know the first lord was in the bay! 1419 00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:03,080 Doctor, I'm trying to control myself, 1420 00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:04,320 but I'm finding it very difficult, 1421 00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:06,680 and I warn you, if you go on, I may go mad, 1422 00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:08,880 and I might do something rather peculiar. 1423 00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:11,120 - Drink this, you'll feel better. - No thank you. 1424 00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:12,640 It's really quite harmless. 1425 00:51:12,680 --> 00:51:14,680 I've read about those, they give them to girls. 1426 00:51:14,720 --> 00:51:15,760 It's only a sedative. 1427 00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:16,960 Yes, that's what they're all told. 1428 00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:19,880 Then they wind up dancing in a nightclub in Buenos Aires. 1429 00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:21,280 As you wish. 1430 00:51:21,560 --> 00:51:22,640 Sir? 1431 00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:24,120 Oh, Lieutenant Commander Fraser's 1432 00:51:24,160 --> 00:51:25,840 to be placed in the observation ward. 1433 00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:28,000 He's to have tea, soft drinks, anything he requires, 1434 00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:29,360 - but no stimulants. - Yes, sir. 1435 00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:30,320 Now, look! 1436 00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:32,440 Those things that were taken out of my pockets, 1437 00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:33,720 there was a House of Commons pass! 1438 00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:35,360 We never go through personal belongings, sir. 1439 00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:37,440 But I want you to go through my personal belongings! 1440 00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:38,520 It's against the regulations. 1441 00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:40,920 Doctor, tell him to go through my personal belongings! 1442 00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:43,000 Now, you just toddle along upstairs, Fraser. 1443 00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:44,920 We'll have you straightened out in no time at all. 1444 00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:46,240 There's a good, sir. 1445 00:51:46,280 --> 00:51:48,080 Mustn't feel there's anything to be ashamed of, sir. 1446 00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:50,960 I'm not ashamed, and I'm not fixated. 1447 00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:53,240 I keep telling you, I'm Thomas Baker, 1448 00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:56,320 parliamentary private secretary to the first lord! 1449 00:51:57,000 --> 00:51:59,040 I want to send a signal to Admiralty House. 1450 00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:02,520 [ BUSTLING MUSIC ] 1451 00:52:12,680 --> 00:52:14,800 [ HENRY LAUGHING ] 1452 00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:18,000 So I said to him I consider your government, 1453 00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:20,720 the greatest national disaster since 1066. 1454 00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:22,000 Gladstone. 1455 00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:23,880 [ CLEARING THROAT ] 1456 00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:26,000 Grandpa, Willy wants you. 1457 00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:28,000 [ CHUCKLES ] Give him a nudge, will you? 1458 00:52:28,080 --> 00:52:29,280 What, me nudge him? 1459 00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:31,640 Well, you're the senior officer at this table. 1460 00:52:31,720 --> 00:52:33,840 [ LAUGHING ] 1461 00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:35,880 Excuse me, sir, this is rather urgent. 1462 00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:38,520 - Not now, Willy, later. - But sir, this is rather-- 1463 00:52:38,560 --> 00:52:40,600 No, not now, we're about to have lunch. 1464 00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:42,800 We've just finished lunch, Gramps. 1465 00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:44,000 Course we have. 1466 00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:45,760 Willy, you're a fool. Go away. 1467 00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:47,160 Well, I don't like to be the type 1468 00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:48,840 that rushes off right after lunch, 1469 00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:51,440 but the town council calls at 2:30. 1470 00:52:51,480 --> 00:52:53,720 Oh, must you go? Get Sir Henry's hat, Willy. 1471 00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:55,360 Nice of you to have had us. 1472 00:52:55,920 --> 00:52:56,920 Yes. 1473 00:52:56,960 --> 00:52:59,240 Well, Mr. Baker, it's been a pleasure to have met you. 1474 00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:01,240 I hope and look forward to crossing swords 1475 00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:02,320 with you in the House. 1476 00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:03,640 Yes, much better in the house. 1477 00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:06,320 Too many flies and bugs here, I can't stand it. 1478 00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:09,160 My dear. Old in years, but young in spirit. 1479 00:53:09,240 --> 00:53:10,640 [ CHUCKLES ] 1480 00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:12,360 Miss Jane, please. 1481 00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:13,640 I don't know what you're thinking. 1482 00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:14,520 Well, aren't you lucky? 1483 00:53:14,560 --> 00:53:15,880 When I told you I was Peter Fraser-- 1484 00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:17,160 You were lying, that's all right. 1485 00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:18,760 I'm not really Neptune's daughter, either. 1486 00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:19,640 Jane! 1487 00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:21,760 Well, so you had a better offer, eh? 1488 00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:24,720 You won't resent a minute when I tell you I had the most-- 1489 00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:26,240 ohh! 1490 00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:29,520 - Are you-- - This is Mr. Thomas Baker. 1491 00:53:29,720 --> 00:53:31,480 - Is it, now? - How do you do? 1492 00:53:31,520 --> 00:53:34,200 Susan Lashwood. Her brother's number one on the Sherwood. 1493 00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:35,640 At this moment, he's captain. 1494 00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:36,840 Oh, the captain's left the ship. 1495 00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:38,600 Left it, they've battened him down in his cabin 1496 00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:39,600 with a guard on the door! 1497 00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:40,920 What have they done that for? 1498 00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:42,800 This'll interest, Mr. Baker. Do you know what he did? 1499 00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:45,120 - He fired a torpedo. - He did what? 1500 00:53:45,240 --> 00:53:46,640 Oh, well, did he hit anything? 1501 00:53:46,720 --> 00:53:48,200 Only the first lord's barge. 1502 00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:51,000 Oh, no. No! This is just a dream. 1503 00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:53,120 Just a crazy dream. 1504 00:53:53,280 --> 00:53:54,800 - Mr. Baker? - Sir? 1505 00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:56,760 Baker, come here, I want to talk to you. 1506 00:53:56,840 --> 00:53:57,640 Yes, sir. 1507 00:53:57,680 --> 00:53:59,120 Whatever happens, I want you to know-- 1508 00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:01,160 Baker, Baker, Baker. 1509 00:54:01,240 --> 00:54:02,520 I want me to know, too. 1510 00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:04,320 And I'm just the girl to tell you. 1511 00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:05,480 Once upon a time-- 1512 00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:08,960 Shut the window, I can't listen to those gabbing females. 1513 00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:13,360 Now, come and tell me the whole story. 1514 00:54:13,440 --> 00:54:15,520 The whole? You mean you know? 1515 00:54:15,720 --> 00:54:17,240 Of course I know, I'm not a fool. 1516 00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:18,240 Have a cigar. 1517 00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:20,000 Well, that's extremely generous of you, sir. 1518 00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:21,360 - Ehem. - Go away, Willy. 1519 00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:22,560 I'm talking. 1520 00:54:22,720 --> 00:54:24,680 Now, right from the beginning. 1521 00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:25,960 The beginning. 1522 00:54:26,800 --> 00:54:29,320 Well, sir, it all started on V-J night. 1523 00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:30,600 V-J night? 1524 00:54:30,720 --> 00:54:32,600 What they're working on is as far back as that? 1525 00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:34,720 - Working on what, sir? - Oh, come now, Baker. 1526 00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:36,680 I know there's going to be a cabinet meeting, 1527 00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:39,520 and they're discussing a successor for the chief of staff. 1528 00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:41,480 Is that what you wanted to talk to me about? 1529 00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:44,120 Yes, I'm not the blithering idiot everyone thinks I am. 1530 00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:46,800 I'm sure you're not, sir. I-- I mean, yes. 1531 00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:49,120 Question is, how long is the short list? 1532 00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:50,640 The short list? 1533 00:54:50,680 --> 00:54:53,720 Well, they've boiled it down to two or three names, 1534 00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:55,040 including yours, of course, sir. 1535 00:54:55,120 --> 00:54:56,320 - Oh, good, I see. - Sir. 1536 00:54:56,360 --> 00:54:58,360 Heavens, Willy, you're worse than a cuckoo clock. 1537 00:54:58,400 --> 00:54:59,240 Yes, sir. 1538 00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:01,240 Lieutenant Lashwood of the Sherwood's here, sir. 1539 00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:02,160 What's he doing here? 1540 00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:04,320 He wishes to see you, sir. Says it's urgent. 1541 00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:05,560 Of course, if it's urgent. 1542 00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:07,480 You go right ahead, sir. I'll wait in the garden. 1543 00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:09,480 Ahh! I'll see him in the hall. 1544 00:55:09,760 --> 00:55:11,240 In the hall, Willy. 1545 00:55:11,520 --> 00:55:12,440 Sir. 1546 00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:14,720 - What is it, Lashwood? - You got my signal, sir? 1547 00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:15,840 Signal, what signal? 1548 00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:17,920 About Lieutenant Commander Fraser, sir. 1549 00:55:18,120 --> 00:55:20,440 What I have told you about urgent signals? 1550 00:55:20,560 --> 00:55:23,320 - But I tried to tell you, sir. - Be quiet, I'm reading. 1551 00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:31,400 It's almost time to abandon ship, captain. 1552 00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:33,920 I'm almost relieved. Who told you, Tom? 1553 00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:35,760 Threw himself on my mercy, poor lamb. 1554 00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:36,840 And you had him locked up. 1555 00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:38,840 I did not, I was trying to help him, 1556 00:55:38,880 --> 00:55:40,320 and he went and sank the first lord! 1557 00:55:40,360 --> 00:55:42,160 The problem now is how to get you all out of this. 1558 00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:43,240 You mean, you're not angry? 1559 00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:44,400 Angry? I'm hysterical! 1560 00:55:44,440 --> 00:55:46,240 We've also got to get the boy off that ship. 1561 00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:47,240 Look out! Willy! 1562 00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:49,360 What do you think's happened to the Sherwood's captain? 1563 00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:51,040 He was locked in his cabin. We know that, Willy. 1564 00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:52,920 No, he's been taken to the psychopathic ward. 1565 00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:53,920 - What? - What? 1566 00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:54,840 He started to act up. 1567 00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:56,560 He brought a doctor down with a rugby tackle, 1568 00:55:56,600 --> 00:55:58,440 and pushed a petty officer into the harbour. 1569 00:55:58,520 --> 00:55:59,760 - I must do something. - What? 1570 00:55:59,800 --> 00:56:00,720 I thought you'd ask that. 1571 00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:02,600 Psychopathic ward, that could be the naval hospital. 1572 00:56:02,640 --> 00:56:04,080 Willy, can I borrow your Rattletrap? 1573 00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:05,280 Well, the started doesn't work, and-- 1574 00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:06,680 I'll try and get in and see him, 1575 00:56:06,720 --> 00:56:08,160 there must be some way to get him out. 1576 00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:09,240 - I'll come with you. - Oh, you stay here. 1577 00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:10,320 Somebody's got to stop the admiral. 1578 00:56:10,360 --> 00:56:11,240 Stop the admiral what? 1579 00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:12,360 The first lord's been dunked. 1580 00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:14,680 Gramps's liable to go berserk, declare martial law, everything! 1581 00:56:14,720 --> 00:56:16,240 If you can, take him to the Harbour Hotel. 1582 00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:17,240 Get him to call me here. 1583 00:56:17,280 --> 00:56:18,520 Better book a room, we must call. 1584 00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:19,520 - Phone. - Phone! 1585 00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:21,200 - Give me a crank, Willy. - Oh, yes, of course. 1586 00:56:21,240 --> 00:56:22,080 Yet I still don't understand-- 1587 00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:23,280 Pick it up as you go along. 1588 00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:24,560 [ PHONE DINGING ] 1589 00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:26,280 Hello. Hello! 1590 00:56:26,320 --> 00:56:27,360 MAXIMILIAN: Willy! 1591 00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:29,040 Here he comes, I'll do that. 1592 00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:31,600 [ PHONE DINGING ] 1593 00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:33,000 Hello? 1594 00:56:33,080 --> 00:56:35,200 Oh, Grandpa, please, I'm on the phone! 1595 00:56:35,280 --> 00:56:36,160 Who's that? 1596 00:56:36,240 --> 00:56:37,960 It's Jane, I'm phoning from the garden. 1597 00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:39,160 I've never heard such nonsense. 1598 00:56:39,200 --> 00:56:40,840 If you want to talk to me, come in! 1599 00:56:40,880 --> 00:56:42,720 - Sir, if I might say a word. - Eh? 1600 00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:46,000 Sir, the whole thing revolves around battleships or bombers. 1601 00:56:46,160 --> 00:56:48,280 - What whole thing? - The shortlist. 1602 00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:50,040 As you might imagine, it's a pretty strong one. 1603 00:56:50,080 --> 00:56:51,800 One might almost say a one. 1604 00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:53,240 Oh, thank you very much. 1605 00:56:53,280 --> 00:56:54,400 Between you and me, 1606 00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:56,080 the man they choose must be progressive. 1607 00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:58,520 Progress has always been my watchword! 1608 00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:00,840 I shan't fail to make that known in the correct quarter. 1609 00:57:00,880 --> 00:57:02,480 That's extremely good of you! 1610 00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:04,320 Not at all, credit where credit is due, sir. 1611 00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:06,080 [ MAXIMILIAN CHUCKLES ] [ BANGING OUTSIDE ] 1612 00:57:06,120 --> 00:57:07,120 What's that? 1613 00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:08,520 Must be the pipes, I think. 1614 00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:10,120 It's that damn car of Willy's. 1615 00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:11,240 Where's he going? 1616 00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:12,320 - Admiral. - What? 1617 00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:14,200 What is the use of a battleship? 1618 00:57:14,320 --> 00:57:16,720 - A battleship? - Yes, a battleship. 1619 00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:17,720 Well, you see, of course, 1620 00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:20,720 there are battleships, and there are battleships. 1621 00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:22,520 The board of admirals, they think that a battleship 1622 00:57:22,560 --> 00:57:24,040 is two pennies of cold gin. 1623 00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:25,400 Do you agree with that? 1624 00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:28,280 Well, you see, as a mere sailor, 1625 00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:30,000 I have no politics. 1626 00:57:30,160 --> 00:57:32,080 Freedom of opinion is sacred, admiral. 1627 00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:33,200 Will you have whiskey? 1628 00:57:33,240 --> 00:57:34,480 No, but don't let me stop you. 1629 00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:37,160 And what did the board propose doing about it? 1630 00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:39,280 Amalgamate the Royal Navy with the air force. 1631 00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:40,800 [ SPLASHING ] 1632 00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:42,560 - That's quite all right, sir. - Great Scott. 1633 00:57:42,640 --> 00:57:44,280 Is the navy going to command the air force, 1634 00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:45,640 or the air force the navy? 1635 00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:48,000 That's a minor detail, sir, which can be ironed out 1636 00:57:48,040 --> 00:57:49,800 by the two services in amicable conference. 1637 00:57:49,840 --> 00:57:51,160 Amicable? Good grief. 1638 00:57:51,280 --> 00:57:54,160 Napoleon, I mean Nelson, will be turning in his grave. 1639 00:57:54,200 --> 00:57:55,200 Now, Admiral. 1640 00:57:55,320 --> 00:57:58,560 What is your candid opinion of this masterly scheme? 1641 00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:01,080 Well, it takes a bit of getting used to. 1642 00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:02,240 Ahh. 1643 00:58:02,280 --> 00:58:05,400 But the more I think about it, the more progressive it sounds. 1644 00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:06,400 I thought you'd say that. 1645 00:58:06,440 --> 00:58:08,280 What is needed for a job of this kind is a man, 1646 00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:10,200 with a broad, national outlook. 1647 00:58:10,240 --> 00:58:11,280 I entirely agree. 1648 00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:13,640 Fine, now all that remains is for me to convey 1649 00:58:13,680 --> 00:58:15,480 the gist of this conversation to my chief. 1650 00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:17,960 Well, yes, I'd be very grateful to you. 1651 00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:19,920 Of course, it would help me a great deal if I had 1652 00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:22,560 a brief note from you to add to my report. 1653 00:58:22,760 --> 00:58:25,320 Well, it's a pleasure, my dear fellow, a serious pleasure. 1654 00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:28,360 Now, uh, what-- what do you propose? 1655 00:58:28,600 --> 00:58:30,960 Ehm, my-- My dear first lord. 1656 00:58:31,360 --> 00:58:34,400 My-- wait a moment. My dear first lord. 1657 00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:38,680 Baker has put before me the general proposals. 1658 00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:40,760 MAXIMILIAN: General proposals, yes. 1659 00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:45,000 For absorbing the navy into the air force. 1660 00:58:45,800 --> 00:58:49,200 I believe this to be a thoroughly sound scheme, 1661 00:58:49,720 --> 00:58:53,640 and I'm happy to give it all the support in my power. 1662 00:58:53,880 --> 00:58:55,680 All-- the-- support-- 1663 00:58:55,760 --> 00:58:57,000 in-- my-- power. 1664 00:58:57,320 --> 00:59:00,000 Admiral. Terse and uncompromising. 1665 00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:01,160 Thank you, sir. 1666 00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:04,640 Now, if things take a certain course, my dear Baker, 1667 00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:07,400 I hope we shall see a lot of each other admiralty. 1668 00:59:07,560 --> 00:59:09,240 Oh, such time as you can spare from your place 1669 00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:10,560 at the House of Lords, sir. 1670 00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:12,880 The House of Lords. My dear boy. 1671 00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:15,640 My very dear. [ TAPPING ] 1672 00:59:17,120 --> 00:59:19,320 [ JEEP BANGING ] 1673 00:59:19,600 --> 00:59:21,600 [ RATTLING ] 1674 00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:27,680 [ JEEP BANGING ] 1675 00:59:29,080 --> 00:59:30,280 [ CLUNKS ] 1676 00:59:30,560 --> 00:59:33,200 [ BIRDS CHIRPING ] 1677 00:59:33,360 --> 00:59:35,520 Could I see Lieutenant Commander Fraser, please? 1678 00:59:35,680 --> 00:59:37,560 Ah, after Lieutenant Lashwood's signal, 1679 00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:38,800 I'm afraid we've got very strict orders 1680 00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:40,000 about Commander Fraser, miss. 1681 00:59:40,040 --> 00:59:41,720 I'm Lieutenant Lashwood's sister. 1682 00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:42,760 Yes, that may be, but-- 1683 00:59:42,840 --> 00:59:45,680 I'm also Lieutenant Commander Fraser's fiancee. 1684 00:59:45,800 --> 00:59:48,200 - Oh, Just a minute, miss. - Thank you. 1685 00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:49,680 All right, all right. 1686 00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:51,880 So, you're the parliamentary private secretary. 1687 00:59:51,960 --> 00:59:53,640 Don't keep saying it like that! 1688 00:59:53,680 --> 00:59:56,040 Why don't you lie down, sir, and have a bit of shuteye? 1689 00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:58,080 I don't want a bit of shuteye, I'm too open-eye, 1690 00:59:58,120 --> 01:00:00,400 - and put that on there. - Oh, ta! 1691 01:00:00,560 --> 01:00:03,280 Now look, the real captain's at Admiralty House. 1692 01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:05,400 Phone him, ask him. He'll identify me. 1693 01:00:05,480 --> 01:00:06,240 Uh-huh. 1694 01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:07,760 You can get a dozen people down here 1695 01:00:07,800 --> 01:00:09,320 from London to say I'm me! 1696 01:00:09,360 --> 01:00:10,960 The first lord's here already, sir. 1697 01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:12,400 - We could ask him. - Yes! 1698 01:00:12,560 --> 01:00:13,560 No. 1699 01:00:14,440 --> 01:00:17,240 Look, it doesn't really matter to me whether you're 1700 01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:19,880 Commander Fraser, Thomas Baker, or King Farouk. 1701 01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:22,680 All I've gotta do is keep you company until the doctor comes. 1702 01:00:22,720 --> 01:00:24,200 [ BUZZING ] Sir. 1703 01:00:26,680 --> 01:00:28,000 Observation. 1704 01:00:28,720 --> 01:00:30,120 What, now? 1705 01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:32,760 Yup. Right, I will. 1706 01:00:36,320 --> 01:00:37,320 Well? 1707 01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:39,000 Your fiancee's coming up, sir. 1708 01:00:39,040 --> 01:00:40,200 My fiancee? 1709 01:00:40,240 --> 01:00:42,000 Also, the relief orderly takes over from now, 1710 01:00:42,040 --> 01:00:44,520 so I'll just say happy dreams, and try to have a rest. 1711 01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:47,800 No, did they mention my fiancee's name? 1712 01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:49,040 No, sir, but don't you worry. 1713 01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:50,120 It'll come back to you, sir. 1714 01:00:50,200 --> 01:00:51,760 [ KNOCKING ] 1715 01:00:51,840 --> 01:00:53,280 Ms. Lashwood for Commander Fraser. 1716 01:00:53,360 --> 01:00:54,760 - Susan! - See, I told you! 1717 01:00:54,800 --> 01:00:56,680 Tom, darling! 1718 01:00:56,760 --> 01:00:57,800 Mmh! 1719 01:00:58,440 --> 01:00:59,720 Uh, please. 1720 01:00:59,880 --> 01:01:01,280 Are we allowed to be alone? 1721 01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:03,800 I shouldn't really, miss, but he's been quiet enough. 1722 01:01:03,840 --> 01:01:05,080 I'll wait outside. 1723 01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:07,160 Maybe you can get him to lie down. 1724 01:01:07,720 --> 01:01:09,000 [ DOOR SLAMS ] 1725 01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:09,920 We've done that. 1726 01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:11,000 Yes, but I wasn't ready that time. 1727 01:01:11,040 --> 01:01:12,160 And I was supposed to be your fiancee. 1728 01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:14,240 If only I could make you an honest woman. 1729 01:01:14,320 --> 01:01:16,520 Listen, I've come to get you out of here. 1730 01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:18,720 - You wonderful, girl. - The question is how. 1731 01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:20,800 - Susan, darling, why are you doing all this for me? 1732 01:01:20,840 --> 01:01:22,280 'Cause I need my head examined. 1733 01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:23,640 Don't say that in here. 1734 01:01:23,640 --> 01:01:24,680 - How high are we? 1735 01:01:24,720 --> 01:01:26,560 Four stories, and the sheets won't reach. 1736 01:01:26,640 --> 01:01:28,960 Suppose you died and I wheeled the bed out. 1737 01:01:29,040 --> 01:01:30,480 Suppose I died? 1738 01:01:32,360 --> 01:01:34,000 [ LADDER THUMPS ] 1739 01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:35,560 Shh! 1740 01:01:40,840 --> 01:01:43,000 Is Lieutenant Commander Fraser here? 1741 01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:44,480 Yes and no, what did you want? 1742 01:01:44,520 --> 01:01:46,520 - I want me oilskins. - I have heard this before. 1743 01:01:46,600 --> 01:01:48,480 Yeah, I went to the Sherwood, they said come back again, 1744 01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:50,280 then, they said he was at the hospital, 1745 01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:52,120 then, they say nobody can see him, 1746 01:01:52,200 --> 01:01:54,120 so I borrow a ladder, and I want me oilskins. 1747 01:01:54,160 --> 01:01:56,160 As a matter of fact, they've just moved 1748 01:01:56,240 --> 01:01:58,640 the lieutenant commander down the passage! 1749 01:01:58,720 --> 01:02:00,160 People have no right to come around 1750 01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:01,680 pinchin' other people's oilskins. 1751 01:02:01,720 --> 01:02:04,120 Down the end of the passage, first door on the right. 1752 01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:06,080 Ya see, he was tryin' to make a pass at this skirt. 1753 01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:07,720 Making cow eyes at her, he was. 1754 01:02:07,800 --> 01:02:09,680 Don't knock, just go straight in. 1755 01:02:09,720 --> 01:02:10,800 Thank you, miss. 1756 01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:13,200 Okay, Jim, what's this one? 1757 01:02:13,240 --> 01:02:15,600 - It's all down there. - Lieutenant Commander Fraser. 1758 01:02:15,680 --> 01:02:17,360 Case of no battle fatigue. 1759 01:02:17,480 --> 01:02:19,480 You'd better knock before you go in. 1760 01:02:20,200 --> 01:02:21,520 [ KNOCKING ] 1761 01:02:21,560 --> 01:02:22,880 Oh, sorry, sir. 1762 01:02:22,920 --> 01:02:24,600 - Excuse me. - Ah-ah. No, you don't. 1763 01:02:24,640 --> 01:02:26,080 Hey, knock it, knock it, who're you stoppin'? 1764 01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:27,440 Take it easy, commander. 1765 01:02:27,520 --> 01:02:29,840 Hi there, commander, my name's Salty Simpson. 1766 01:02:29,880 --> 01:02:32,640 Salty Simpson, eh? That's a new one. 1767 01:02:32,720 --> 01:02:34,600 First it's Fraser, then it's Baker, 1768 01:02:34,680 --> 01:02:37,080 and now it's Salty Simpson. [ CHUCKLES ] 1769 01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:40,400 Yes, and what's so funny with a name like Salty Simpson, eh? 1770 01:02:40,440 --> 01:02:42,480 - Take it easy, uh, please. - SALTY: You tell me, will ya? 1771 01:02:42,560 --> 01:02:45,680 [ STEPS MARCHING ] DRILL SERGEANT: Eyes right! 1772 01:02:48,080 --> 01:02:49,800 Eyes front! 1773 01:02:50,360 --> 01:02:52,520 [ BIRDS CHIRPING ] 1774 01:03:00,040 --> 01:03:01,840 [ JEEP REVVING ] - Crank it! 1775 01:03:01,920 --> 01:03:03,600 Crank it? Yes. 1776 01:03:05,440 --> 01:03:07,840 [ CLUNKING ] 1777 01:03:07,920 --> 01:03:09,240 - Kick it! - What? 1778 01:03:09,320 --> 01:03:10,400 - Kick it! - Where? 1779 01:03:10,480 --> 01:03:11,640 Anywhere. 1780 01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:13,360 [ KICKING ] [ ENGINE RUMBLES ] 1781 01:03:13,440 --> 01:03:15,640 [ ENGINE BANGING ] 1782 01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:24,240 [ SEAGULLS SQUAWKING ] 1783 01:03:24,680 --> 01:03:26,640 [ ENGINE BANGING ] 1784 01:03:26,880 --> 01:03:28,440 [ KICKING ] 1785 01:03:29,600 --> 01:03:31,360 [ FANCIFUL MUSIC ] 1786 01:03:31,480 --> 01:03:33,120 Mr. Baker, what number? 1787 01:03:33,160 --> 01:03:34,160 - Baker? - Baker. 1788 01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:35,280 Number 14. 1789 01:03:38,400 --> 01:03:42,000 [ DIZZYING MUSIC ] 1790 01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:50,280 [ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING ] 1791 01:04:04,200 --> 01:04:05,560 Mr. Baker, what number? 1792 01:04:05,600 --> 01:04:06,480 - Baker? - Baker. 1793 01:04:06,560 --> 01:04:07,960 - Number 14. - 14. 1794 01:04:12,280 --> 01:04:14,120 All right, off with them. 1795 01:04:14,200 --> 01:04:15,440 Where the devil have you been? 1796 01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:17,040 We've been trying to get you at Admiralty House! 1797 01:04:17,080 --> 01:04:17,920 I've left. 1798 01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:20,120 You've made a first class botch up of everything. 1799 01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:21,320 - I have? - Yes, you have. 1800 01:04:21,360 --> 01:04:22,440 Look who's talking. 1801 01:04:22,480 --> 01:04:24,360 You get into my uniform, you go aboard my ship. 1802 01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:25,600 I do not go-- 1803 01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:27,320 I was Shanghaied, press-ganged! 1804 01:04:27,320 --> 01:04:29,320 Do you know what you can get for impersonating an officer? 1805 01:04:29,360 --> 01:04:31,200 How as much as you can get for impersonating a member 1806 01:04:31,240 --> 01:04:32,120 of her majesty's government! 1807 01:04:32,160 --> 01:04:34,080 I wouldn't have been there if you hadn't phoned me. 1808 01:04:34,120 --> 01:04:35,240 Of course I phoned you! 1809 01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:37,600 What, do you expect me to sail around the cape? 1810 01:04:37,680 --> 01:04:39,400 Shut up, both of you, and get changed! 1811 01:04:39,480 --> 01:04:42,080 Quite right, get changed and stop talking so much. 1812 01:04:42,400 --> 01:04:44,600 Susan, would you mind turning your back? 1813 01:04:44,680 --> 01:04:47,000 We're just a little bit shy. Thank you. 1814 01:04:47,160 --> 01:04:49,320 What sort of chaos have you left for me at Admiralty House? 1815 01:04:49,400 --> 01:04:50,840 At least, I didn't blow it up. 1816 01:04:50,880 --> 01:04:52,920 Peter Fraser, I consider that remark was uncalled for. 1817 01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:54,000 So, was the torpedo. 1818 01:04:54,040 --> 01:04:55,640 And so was the gin you plied me with! 1819 01:04:55,680 --> 01:04:57,280 I have never plied anybody with gin, 1820 01:04:57,320 --> 01:04:58,480 and certainly, not a man. 1821 01:04:58,520 --> 01:05:00,960 If I hadn't think quickly, we'd both be in jail by now. 1822 01:05:01,040 --> 01:05:02,880 And if you don't do some pretty quick dressing, 1823 01:05:02,920 --> 01:05:04,560 you'll be in the Tower of London by morning. 1824 01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:05,680 I better call a cab. 1825 01:05:05,720 --> 01:05:07,160 - Now listen, Pete. - One cab coming up. 1826 01:05:07,240 --> 01:05:08,320 When you get back to your boat-- 1827 01:05:08,360 --> 01:05:09,400 - Ship. - Ship! 1828 01:05:09,440 --> 01:05:10,760 When you get back to your ship, 1829 01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:13,120 there may be some difficulty about you being allowed on. 1830 01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:14,640 They might think you're an imposter. 1831 01:05:14,680 --> 01:05:15,880 What makes you think that? 1832 01:05:15,920 --> 01:05:18,600 You may establish your identity without any trouble, and then, 1833 01:05:18,680 --> 01:05:20,680 the next thing you can do is to give your officers 1834 01:05:20,680 --> 01:05:22,560 a good tousing for culpable gullibility. 1835 01:05:22,600 --> 01:05:24,160 You're talking like a white paper. 1836 01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:25,840 Look, I can deal with the crew. 1837 01:05:25,880 --> 01:05:27,200 Who is going to deal with the admiral? 1838 01:05:27,240 --> 01:05:28,960 Don't worry about him. I can make things 1839 01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:30,960 very unpleasant for him. After all, let's face it, 1840 01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:32,760 he accepted you without credentials. 1841 01:05:32,840 --> 01:05:34,480 I think we can probably hush it up between us. 1842 01:05:34,520 --> 01:05:36,640 And what happens when you go on a tour of inspection 1843 01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:39,400 with the first lord and the first ship you visit is the Sherwood? 1844 01:05:39,480 --> 01:05:40,680 The $64 question. 1845 01:05:40,760 --> 01:05:42,920 I'll see that he never gets near the Sherwood. 1846 01:05:42,960 --> 01:05:45,000 Well, you certainly stopped him today! 1847 01:05:45,080 --> 01:05:46,960 Susan, what are you doing every evening 1848 01:05:47,040 --> 01:05:48,800 for the next two or three years or so? 1849 01:05:48,840 --> 01:05:50,520 - Jump to it, man! - Jump to it! 1850 01:05:50,560 --> 01:05:51,480 Jump to it, man! 1851 01:05:51,520 --> 01:05:53,800 - Inside your cloth, not out. - All right! 1852 01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:57,960 Mr. Baker will settle the bill. 1853 01:05:58,160 --> 01:05:59,640 Very good, sir. 1854 01:06:03,800 --> 01:06:06,520 Send the bill to Mr. Baker, Admiralty House. Can't stop. 1855 01:06:09,800 --> 01:06:12,560 [ JAUNTY MUSIC ] 1856 01:06:24,680 --> 01:06:26,360 Good afternoon, Lieutenant Lashwood aboard? 1857 01:06:26,400 --> 01:06:28,120 Yes, sir, he's in the wardroom. Shall I-- 1858 01:06:28,200 --> 01:06:30,360 No, that's all right. I'm Lieutenant Commander Fraser. 1859 01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:36,200 [ CRASHING AND CLATTERING ] 1860 01:06:37,240 --> 01:06:39,160 Cor blimey, another one. 1861 01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:42,720 [ CAR RATTLES AND BANGS ] 1862 01:07:05,760 --> 01:07:07,040 [ THUMPS ] 1863 01:07:08,400 --> 01:07:10,920 [ BIRD CHIRPING ] 1864 01:07:11,640 --> 01:07:12,800 Hi! 1865 01:07:16,360 --> 01:07:19,280 [ WHIMSICAL MUSIC ] 1866 01:07:20,880 --> 01:07:22,040 Good afternoon. 1867 01:07:22,080 --> 01:07:23,280 Admiral Godfrey, please. 1868 01:07:23,400 --> 01:07:25,120 Yes, sir. Who shall I say? 1869 01:07:25,240 --> 01:07:27,040 - Mr. Thomas Baker. - Yes, sir. 1870 01:07:31,720 --> 01:07:33,440 That's quite strange. 1871 01:07:36,280 --> 01:07:38,400 - Grandpa, wake up. - Hm? 1872 01:07:38,480 --> 01:07:40,080 - Willy wants you. - Willy? 1873 01:07:40,160 --> 01:07:42,000 Mr. Thomas Baker's in the hall, sir. 1874 01:07:42,080 --> 01:07:43,600 In the hall here, that's all right. 1875 01:07:43,640 --> 01:07:45,600 It's not out of bounds, or anything, is it? 1876 01:07:45,640 --> 01:07:47,840 No sir, but he's different from the one we had this morning. 1877 01:07:47,880 --> 01:07:48,680 Different? 1878 01:07:48,720 --> 01:07:50,320 Willy's right, I saw him arrive. 1879 01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:52,560 Well, this is ridiculous, he had lunch with us. 1880 01:07:52,600 --> 01:07:53,440 Not this one. 1881 01:07:53,520 --> 01:07:55,240 Shall I bring him in for you to have a look at, sir? 1882 01:07:55,280 --> 01:07:57,720 Yes, Willy. We can't leave him standing there out in the hall. 1883 01:07:57,800 --> 01:08:00,120 But if he's Baker, who did we have lunch with? 1884 01:08:00,240 --> 01:08:03,000 - Must have been an imposter. - Maybe he was a spy. 1885 01:08:03,040 --> 01:08:05,320 A spy in Admiralty House? 1886 01:08:05,400 --> 01:08:06,960 He did seem a bit odd, didn't he? 1887 01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:10,120 Didn't know Tompkinson, either. Well, where is he now? 1888 01:08:10,160 --> 01:08:11,240 The last time I saw him, 1889 01:08:11,280 --> 01:08:13,160 he was going down the drive on your bicycle. 1890 01:08:13,240 --> 01:08:14,280 My bicycle? 1891 01:08:14,360 --> 01:08:16,520 I hope he hasn't stolen any of your papers, 1892 01:08:16,560 --> 01:08:19,320 - or anything like that. - Heavens! That letter! 1893 01:08:21,640 --> 01:08:24,320 - Mr. Thomas Baker, sir. - Thank you. 1894 01:08:24,400 --> 01:08:26,120 - Good afternoon, admiral. - Oh! [ CHUCKLES ] 1895 01:08:26,160 --> 01:08:27,440 Happy to meet you, Mr. Baker. 1896 01:08:27,480 --> 01:08:28,640 Very happy to meet you. 1897 01:08:28,680 --> 01:08:29,840 I have an apology to offer you. 1898 01:08:29,880 --> 01:08:32,080 I wrote you a letter to tell you that I couldn't lunch, 1899 01:08:32,160 --> 01:08:33,320 and I forgot to post it. 1900 01:08:33,360 --> 01:08:35,440 - Oh, the lunch wasn't rated. - Oh, good. 1901 01:08:35,520 --> 01:08:37,800 I understand that I missed a slight contratante this morning. 1902 01:08:37,880 --> 01:08:40,200 I don't know, I took it for granted the man was you. 1903 01:08:40,240 --> 01:08:42,320 Well, it's a good job that nobody was hurt. 1904 01:08:42,400 --> 01:08:43,520 Uh-huh, well, 1905 01:08:43,560 --> 01:08:45,480 disciplinary action has already been taken. 1906 01:08:45,560 --> 01:08:47,000 Of course, of course. 1907 01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:50,000 Yes, and-- and when can we expect the first lord? 1908 01:08:50,080 --> 01:08:51,840 Practically any time. At the moment, 1909 01:08:51,880 --> 01:08:53,280 he's at the yacht club drying off. 1910 01:08:53,280 --> 01:08:54,280 He's all right, eh? 1911 01:08:54,320 --> 01:08:55,760 In excellent spirits after he got 1912 01:08:55,840 --> 01:08:57,080 a few choice phrases off his chest. 1913 01:08:57,120 --> 01:08:58,640 [ BOTH LAUGHING ] 1914 01:08:58,720 --> 01:08:59,960 Lieutenant Lashwood, sir. 1915 01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:02,240 Oh, that man is becoming a pest. 1916 01:09:02,360 --> 01:09:03,960 What is it, Lashwood? 1917 01:09:04,200 --> 01:09:07,160 Yes, I know Lieutenant Commander Fraser's in hospital. 1918 01:09:07,720 --> 01:09:09,840 What do you mean there's another one? 1919 01:09:10,120 --> 01:09:11,840 Just come aboard? 1920 01:09:11,960 --> 01:09:14,160 Well, there can't be two of them, man. 1921 01:09:14,240 --> 01:09:16,720 You're suggesting the first one was-- 1922 01:09:17,160 --> 01:09:18,600 Good grief! 1923 01:09:18,800 --> 01:09:21,400 Well, what about Fraser number two? 1924 01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:23,240 How do we know he isn't? 1925 01:09:23,280 --> 01:09:25,680 You'd better send him here right away. 1926 01:09:25,880 --> 01:09:29,040 I don't care if his keys do fit his baggage. 1927 01:09:29,120 --> 01:09:30,600 Send him here. 1928 01:09:31,040 --> 01:09:32,600 Another contratante, Admiral? 1929 01:09:32,680 --> 01:09:35,000 Mr. Baker, there's a rather disturbing matter, 1930 01:09:35,040 --> 01:09:36,520 that I'd like to consult you about. 1931 01:09:36,600 --> 01:09:37,480 With pleasure! 1932 01:09:37,520 --> 01:09:39,880 It might even effect the safety of the first lord. 1933 01:09:39,920 --> 01:09:40,920 Indeed? 1934 01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:43,960 The man who fired that torpedo from the Sherwood-- 1935 01:09:44,040 --> 01:09:45,480 Lieutenant Commander Fraser, sir? 1936 01:09:45,520 --> 01:09:47,240 They've put him in the psychopathic ward. 1937 01:09:47,280 --> 01:09:48,360 Tom: Oh, poor chap. 1938 01:09:48,440 --> 01:09:51,120 This afternoon, another man arrived on the Sherwood. 1939 01:09:51,160 --> 01:09:52,600 TOM: Perhaps he is Fraser. 1940 01:09:52,800 --> 01:09:55,680 Yes, that's what I intend to find out. 1941 01:09:55,760 --> 01:09:56,560 Yes. 1942 01:09:56,640 --> 01:09:57,840 They're sending him here! 1943 01:09:57,960 --> 01:09:59,720 - Well, interesting. - Oh, so sorry. 1944 01:09:59,800 --> 01:10:02,200 Yes, but unfortunately, there's more! 1945 01:10:02,240 --> 01:10:03,520 - More? - Yes. 1946 01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:07,000 This morning, a man came here claiming to be you. 1947 01:10:07,120 --> 01:10:09,120 Oh, claiming to be me? 1948 01:10:09,240 --> 01:10:12,320 Of course, we saw through the imposter right away. 1949 01:10:12,400 --> 01:10:13,400 Of course! 1950 01:10:13,560 --> 01:10:15,640 But what if they're working together? 1951 01:10:15,760 --> 01:10:18,000 - Saboteurs. - Saboteurs? 1952 01:10:18,040 --> 01:10:20,840 One on the Sherwood, and the other in Admiralty House. 1953 01:10:20,960 --> 01:10:24,120 Admiral, I have complete faith in your naval security. 1954 01:10:24,160 --> 01:10:26,800 Well, supposing that torpedo wasn't an accident. 1955 01:10:26,880 --> 01:10:28,520 Oh, but it was. I mean, a man 1956 01:10:28,560 --> 01:10:29,880 is innocent until he's proved guilty. 1957 01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:31,200 Well, I think I ought to call the police. 1958 01:10:31,280 --> 01:10:33,600 No, no, admiral, much as I'd hate to stop you, 1959 01:10:33,680 --> 01:10:36,120 I'd like to talk to you about a certain admiralty post, 1960 01:10:36,200 --> 01:10:37,720 that we are interested in filling. 1961 01:10:37,800 --> 01:10:40,240 - Oh, the chief of staff? - In confidence, of course. 1962 01:10:40,320 --> 01:10:41,160 Of course, of course. 1963 01:10:41,240 --> 01:10:43,200 I thought we'd have a little chat off the record, 1964 01:10:43,280 --> 01:10:44,520 before the first lord arrives. 1965 01:10:44,640 --> 01:10:46,400 My dear boy. [ CHUCKLING ] 1966 01:10:46,440 --> 01:10:49,080 My very dear boy. Have a cigar. 1967 01:10:49,160 --> 01:10:50,640 Thank you so much. [ CHUCKLES ] 1968 01:10:50,720 --> 01:10:53,160 You haven't met my chief, have you? 1969 01:10:53,440 --> 01:10:55,520 MAXIMILIAN: No, I haven't had that pleasure. 1970 01:10:55,600 --> 01:10:57,080 He's a charming man, you'll like him. 1971 01:10:57,160 --> 01:10:59,440 He's a naval fellow through and through, just like you. 1972 01:10:59,480 --> 01:11:01,880 - Why don't we sit down? - Why not, indeed? 1973 01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:04,480 You know, I listen much better when I'm sitting down. 1974 01:11:04,560 --> 01:11:05,680 Don't we all, sir? 1975 01:11:05,720 --> 01:11:07,360 I want to reassure you on one point, 1976 01:11:07,440 --> 01:11:09,760 that you probably have some uneasiness with regard 1977 01:11:09,800 --> 01:11:12,280 to the policy of the government towards the navy. 1978 01:11:12,320 --> 01:11:14,000 One sometimes wonders. 1979 01:11:14,120 --> 01:11:16,720 Strictly between ourselves, there's not a lot of love lost 1980 01:11:16,760 --> 01:11:19,320 between the first lord and the air ministry. 1981 01:11:19,440 --> 01:11:21,360 Someone has already suggested that. 1982 01:11:21,400 --> 01:11:23,120 Now, let me come straight to the point. 1983 01:11:23,160 --> 01:11:26,680 Candidly, what is the use of a heavy bomber? 1984 01:11:26,840 --> 01:11:28,880 - A heavy bomber? - A heavy bomber. 1985 01:11:28,920 --> 01:11:31,400 - Don't you mean a battleship? - No, a heavy bomber. 1986 01:11:31,480 --> 01:11:33,320 Well, of course, there are heavy bombers, 1987 01:11:33,400 --> 01:11:35,240 and there are heavy bombers. 1988 01:11:35,320 --> 01:11:39,960 Admiral, my chief's view is that heavy bomber's are obsolete. 1989 01:11:40,200 --> 01:11:42,200 Two penny worth of cold gin. 1990 01:11:42,240 --> 01:11:43,440 Precisely. 1991 01:11:43,480 --> 01:11:45,120 So to economize, we propose clipping 1992 01:11:45,160 --> 01:11:46,440 the wings of the Royal Air Force. 1993 01:11:46,520 --> 01:11:47,800 Very sound, very sound! 1994 01:11:47,840 --> 01:11:49,360 You mean abolish them altogether? 1995 01:11:49,440 --> 01:11:50,840 No, no, just the heavy bombers, 1996 01:11:50,920 --> 01:11:52,560 which will leave a lot of grounded air marshals. 1997 01:11:52,640 --> 01:11:54,600 An interesting spectacle! 1998 01:11:54,680 --> 01:11:56,720 The only thing to be worked out is what to do with them. 1999 01:11:56,840 --> 01:11:59,240 There's always the National Coal Board. 2000 01:11:59,760 --> 01:12:02,160 We'll probably absorb them in various working parties. 2001 01:12:02,280 --> 01:12:04,480 It's going to be a terrible dogfight, we know that, 2002 01:12:04,560 --> 01:12:07,040 but is a policy which you yourself are prepared to back? 2003 01:12:07,080 --> 01:12:08,760 Progress is my watchword. 2004 01:12:08,840 --> 01:12:09,520 Good! 2005 01:12:09,600 --> 01:12:11,760 I was only saying this morning-- 2006 01:12:11,960 --> 01:12:14,360 Well, where should we be without progress? 2007 01:12:14,520 --> 01:12:16,560 Then, we can count your support? 2008 01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:18,800 In consideration to the limit. 2009 01:12:18,880 --> 01:12:20,080 Fine, I'm so glad! [ BELL RINGING ] 2010 01:12:20,160 --> 01:12:22,680 Oh, one last point. May I communicate your views, 2011 01:12:22,760 --> 01:12:24,600 in confidence, to the first lord? 2012 01:12:24,680 --> 01:12:26,760 Certainly. Oh, by the way, you don't want me 2013 01:12:26,800 --> 01:12:28,120 to put anything in writing? 2014 01:12:28,160 --> 01:12:29,480 No, no, quite unnecessary. 2015 01:12:29,560 --> 01:12:30,720 Ah, that's a relief. 2016 01:12:30,800 --> 01:12:32,400 Now sir, with your permission, 2017 01:12:32,480 --> 01:12:34,960 I'll telephone the yacht club immediately. 2018 01:12:35,080 --> 01:12:36,640 Yes, you can use the study. 2019 01:12:36,720 --> 01:12:38,160 Thank you very much. 2020 01:12:38,480 --> 01:12:40,280 What do you think you're doing there? 2021 01:12:40,360 --> 01:12:42,160 Answering the bell. 2022 01:12:45,320 --> 01:12:46,760 Hello! 2023 01:12:46,920 --> 01:12:48,400 Lieutenant Commander Fraser reporting 2024 01:12:48,440 --> 01:12:49,640 as ordered to Admiral Godfrey. 2025 01:12:49,680 --> 01:12:51,000 I just heard the whole story. 2026 01:12:51,040 --> 01:12:53,480 Never a dull moment, is there? 2027 01:12:53,680 --> 01:12:55,760 [ KNOCKS ] Lieutenant Commander Fraser. 2028 01:12:55,800 --> 01:12:56,800 Good luck. 2029 01:12:56,880 --> 01:12:58,400 It's a far better thing that I do now-- 2030 01:12:58,440 --> 01:12:59,440 Where is he? 2031 01:12:59,960 --> 01:13:01,560 Ah, good afternoon, Fraser. 2032 01:13:01,600 --> 01:13:03,280 Good afternoon, sir. 2033 01:13:03,560 --> 01:13:05,120 Am I out of my senses? 2034 01:13:05,280 --> 01:13:06,200 You? 2035 01:13:06,240 --> 01:13:08,000 Yes, sir, with an explanation and an apology. 2036 01:13:08,040 --> 01:13:09,920 An apology? You're under arrest. 2037 01:13:10,000 --> 01:13:10,720 Aye-aye, sir. 2038 01:13:10,760 --> 01:13:12,080 Willy, take charge of this man. 2039 01:13:12,120 --> 01:13:13,160 Yes, sir. 2040 01:13:13,320 --> 01:13:15,280 Now, tell me. What do you mean 2041 01:13:15,320 --> 01:13:17,120 by wearing her majesty's uniform? 2042 01:13:17,160 --> 01:13:18,760 I hold her majesty's commission, sir, 2043 01:13:18,840 --> 01:13:19,720 14 years service. 2044 01:13:19,760 --> 01:13:21,600 Then what do you mean masquerading 2045 01:13:21,640 --> 01:13:22,840 as a civilian this morning? 2046 01:13:22,920 --> 01:13:24,600 That's what I'd like to explain, sir. 2047 01:13:24,680 --> 01:13:25,760 - Wait here. - Yes, sir. 2048 01:13:25,840 --> 01:13:27,680 Willy, stand by that window. 2049 01:13:27,760 --> 01:13:28,840 Yes, sir. 2050 01:13:31,360 --> 01:13:33,120 Mmh? [ KNOCKING ] 2051 01:13:33,200 --> 01:13:34,880 I understand perfectly, sir. 2052 01:13:34,960 --> 01:13:36,040 Would you like me to send a car? 2053 01:13:36,080 --> 01:13:36,920 Come in. 2054 01:13:36,960 --> 01:13:37,760 Certainly. 2055 01:13:37,800 --> 01:13:39,800 Yes, I've explained the whole thing to him. 2056 01:13:39,920 --> 01:13:41,400 Splendid. Goodbye, sir. 2057 01:13:41,920 --> 01:13:43,280 The first lord is on his way. 2058 01:13:43,400 --> 01:13:45,400 Good, this gives me time to dispose 2059 01:13:45,520 --> 01:13:47,400 of this delicate business. 2060 01:13:47,480 --> 01:13:49,200 What, another contratante, admiral? 2061 01:13:49,240 --> 01:13:50,240 Bigger. 2062 01:13:50,320 --> 01:13:53,720 As PPS to the first lord, I'd like to ask your advice. 2063 01:13:53,760 --> 01:13:55,040 I'd be only too happy to give it. 2064 01:13:55,080 --> 01:13:57,160 Thank you. The officer I have in there, 2065 01:13:57,240 --> 01:13:59,440 is the individual who attempted 2066 01:13:59,520 --> 01:14:01,040 to impersonate you this morning. 2067 01:14:01,200 --> 01:14:03,440 - No! - Come and see. 2068 01:14:04,680 --> 01:14:06,520 [ GIRLS LAUGHING ] 2069 01:14:06,560 --> 01:14:08,040 Jane, Susan, what do you think you're doing? 2070 01:14:08,080 --> 01:14:10,000 Just keeping the lieutenant commander company. 2071 01:14:10,040 --> 01:14:11,840 Keeping him company? He's under close arrest. 2072 01:14:11,880 --> 01:14:13,000 Why, Pete! 2073 01:14:13,080 --> 01:14:14,440 Tom, what are you doing? 2074 01:14:14,480 --> 01:14:15,880 You old son of a gun! 2075 01:14:15,920 --> 01:14:17,240 - You old son of-- - You know each other? 2076 01:14:17,280 --> 01:14:18,080 Know him? 2077 01:14:18,120 --> 01:14:19,640 We were the greatest of friends! 2078 01:14:19,680 --> 01:14:21,000 This man's been impersonating me? 2079 01:14:21,040 --> 01:14:23,680 Until he was detected. He's now under close arrest! 2080 01:14:23,720 --> 01:14:24,520 Arrest? 2081 01:14:24,560 --> 01:14:26,480 Admiral, have you reflected on the consequences? 2082 01:14:26,520 --> 01:14:27,400 That's his problem. 2083 01:14:27,440 --> 01:14:28,760 On the contrary, I think it's yours. 2084 01:14:28,800 --> 01:14:29,640 Mine? 2085 01:14:29,720 --> 01:14:31,160 A court martial on such a charge. 2086 01:14:31,200 --> 01:14:32,680 - Oh? - Think of the stir. 2087 01:14:32,760 --> 01:14:34,040 - Stir? - The terrible publicity. 2088 01:14:34,120 --> 01:14:35,000 Publicity. 2089 01:14:35,040 --> 01:14:36,680 Not to mention the jokes in the press. 2090 01:14:36,720 --> 01:14:37,520 The press. 2091 01:14:37,600 --> 01:14:39,200 Cartoons in the Sunday papers. 2092 01:14:39,520 --> 01:14:41,600 Just think how this might recoil on you, 2093 01:14:41,680 --> 01:14:43,440 admiral, on your prestige, 2094 01:14:43,600 --> 01:14:45,240 at a time when your name may be-- 2095 01:14:45,280 --> 01:14:46,160 Only may be? 2096 01:14:46,240 --> 01:14:47,560 Only may be appearing before the public, 2097 01:14:47,600 --> 01:14:48,920 in an entirely different connection. 2098 01:14:49,000 --> 01:14:50,600 You grasp the implications of this, admiral? 2099 01:14:50,640 --> 01:14:52,880 I'm beginning to. Thank you for pointing them out. 2100 01:14:53,000 --> 01:14:54,000 What do you suggest? 2101 01:14:54,040 --> 01:14:55,760 I suggest you leave Lieutenant Commander Fraser 2102 01:14:55,800 --> 01:14:56,600 entirely to me. 2103 01:14:56,640 --> 01:14:58,440 I know him well, he's an excellent chap, 2104 01:14:58,480 --> 01:14:59,640 and first class seaman. 2105 01:14:59,720 --> 01:15:02,000 His sense of humour make go a little too far at times, 2106 01:15:02,040 --> 01:15:03,280 but let me take charge of him, 2107 01:15:03,320 --> 01:15:05,480 and I'll relieve you of any irksome duty in the matter. 2108 01:15:05,520 --> 01:15:06,560 Oh, that's most kind. 2109 01:15:06,600 --> 01:15:08,240 You are quite sure the first lord-- 2110 01:15:08,280 --> 01:15:10,120 The first lord shall not even hear about it. 2111 01:15:10,240 --> 01:15:14,400 Ahh. Let us apprise Fraser of our decision. 2112 01:15:14,480 --> 01:15:15,640 What an excellent idea! 2113 01:15:17,680 --> 01:15:19,360 Oh, Lieutenant Commander Fraser. 2114 01:15:19,400 --> 01:15:20,160 Sir? 2115 01:15:20,200 --> 01:15:22,960 Mr. Baker has interceded on your behalf. 2116 01:15:23,040 --> 01:15:24,000 Thank you, Mr. Baker. 2117 01:15:24,040 --> 01:15:26,560 He's undertaken to deal with your case personally, 2118 01:15:26,600 --> 01:15:28,880 semi-officially as it were. 2119 01:15:29,040 --> 01:15:30,960 So, you're no longer under arrest. 2120 01:15:31,080 --> 01:15:31,960 - Willy? - Yes, sir? 2121 01:15:32,040 --> 01:15:33,640 - His sword. - Thank you, sir. 2122 01:15:33,720 --> 01:15:35,200 That was good timing, wasn't it? 2123 01:15:35,240 --> 01:15:36,360 Yes. [ BELL RINGING ] 2124 01:15:36,440 --> 01:15:38,040 - That must be the chief. - The first lord. 2125 01:15:38,080 --> 01:15:38,960 First lord, yeah. 2126 01:15:39,000 --> 01:15:40,640 Girls, you know, you've no right to be here. 2127 01:15:40,680 --> 01:15:42,400 I've told you over again, run along. 2128 01:15:42,440 --> 01:15:44,000 And Jane, you're half naked again! 2129 01:15:44,080 --> 01:15:46,840 - Lieutenant Lashwood, sir. - Lashwood, what, again? 2130 01:15:46,960 --> 01:15:48,680 Sir, I've had a report from the hospital. 2131 01:15:48,720 --> 01:15:50,320 The first Lieutenant Commander Fraser's escaped. 2132 01:15:50,360 --> 01:15:51,840 - Escaped? - Yes, sir. 2133 01:15:52,000 --> 01:15:53,600 Oh! I see you've caught him, sir. 2134 01:15:53,640 --> 01:15:54,440 Caught whom? 2135 01:15:54,480 --> 01:15:56,080 The escaped man, sir, the one who impersonated 2136 01:15:56,160 --> 01:15:57,280 the captain this morning. 2137 01:15:57,320 --> 01:15:59,240 Impersonated Lieutenant Commander Fraser? 2138 01:15:59,280 --> 01:16:00,440 On board the Sherwood, sir. 2139 01:16:00,480 --> 01:16:02,240 My sister will corroborate it, she was there. 2140 01:16:02,280 --> 01:16:03,920 And who the devil are you, sir? 2141 01:16:04,080 --> 01:16:06,120 I thought you knew. I'm Thomas Baker, 2142 01:16:06,240 --> 01:16:08,360 parliamentary private secretary to the first lord. 2143 01:16:08,440 --> 01:16:09,840 How do I know that? 2144 01:16:09,920 --> 01:16:12,240 My admiralty and my House of Commons pass. 2145 01:16:12,320 --> 01:16:13,640 They may be forgeries. 2146 01:16:13,720 --> 01:16:14,840 Well, show them to the first lord. 2147 01:16:14,880 --> 01:16:16,160 He'll be here any minute. 2148 01:16:16,240 --> 01:16:18,000 This is getting beyond words. 2149 01:16:18,040 --> 01:16:19,680 Is there no one I can depend on? 2150 01:16:19,720 --> 01:16:20,640 Yes, me! 2151 01:16:20,760 --> 01:16:23,120 And what have you got to do with this deplorable business? 2152 01:16:23,160 --> 01:16:25,080 I am personal private secretary 2153 01:16:25,120 --> 01:16:27,400 to Mr. Thomas Baker, the PPS to the first lord. 2154 01:16:27,440 --> 01:16:28,680 Since when? 2155 01:16:28,720 --> 01:16:30,120 Since I got him out of hospital. 2156 01:16:30,160 --> 01:16:31,360 You got him out of hospital? 2157 01:16:31,440 --> 01:16:33,000 You made a fine gaffe, my lad. 2158 01:16:33,040 --> 01:16:34,240 Is everybody in on this? 2159 01:16:34,280 --> 01:16:35,880 Look, Grandpa, it's all very simple. 2160 01:16:36,000 --> 01:16:39,000 Last night, quite by accident, Peter and Tom got sloshed. 2161 01:16:39,120 --> 01:16:40,520 - Sloshed? - Pie-eyed, sir. 2162 01:16:40,560 --> 01:16:41,520 Scotch-mist. 2163 01:16:41,560 --> 01:16:43,720 And while they were still tiddly, they changed clothes. 2164 01:16:43,760 --> 01:16:45,320 - That's all. - All! 2165 01:16:45,520 --> 01:16:48,920 This man brings contempt on her majesty's uniform, 2166 01:16:49,240 --> 01:16:52,040 and this one gets into my official residence, 2167 01:16:52,120 --> 01:16:53,520 and violates my home! 2168 01:16:53,560 --> 01:16:54,960 I am quite prepared to marry her, sir. 2169 01:16:55,040 --> 01:16:56,040 You are? 2170 01:16:56,080 --> 01:16:58,280 Now, look, enough of this. No more, come along. 2171 01:16:58,320 --> 01:17:00,600 Outside, both of you. Outside, all of you! 2172 01:17:00,760 --> 01:17:02,240 Go along, go on. 2173 01:17:02,360 --> 01:17:05,840 This is a naval establishment, not a village hall! 2174 01:17:06,560 --> 01:17:07,640 [ DOORS SLAMMING ] 2175 01:17:07,680 --> 01:17:10,160 I'm handing the whole thing over to the first lord! 2176 01:17:10,840 --> 01:17:13,080 Couldn't we do a deal on this all around? 2177 01:17:13,160 --> 01:17:15,080 A deal, you have the affrontery? 2178 01:17:15,160 --> 01:17:16,760 Why not? It's done on the highest levels. 2179 01:17:16,840 --> 01:17:17,720 It's called diplomacy. 2180 01:17:17,760 --> 01:17:19,040 In politics and big business, 2181 01:17:19,120 --> 01:17:21,080 the good old British principal of compromise. 2182 01:17:21,120 --> 01:17:22,320 - No. - No? 2183 01:17:22,360 --> 01:17:24,120 Admiral, did you or did you not 2184 01:17:24,200 --> 01:17:26,720 give this letter to Peter to hand to the first lord? 2185 01:17:26,800 --> 01:17:27,960 Hand to the first lord? 2186 01:17:28,000 --> 01:17:29,680 And Peter, being in no position to do so, 2187 01:17:29,720 --> 01:17:31,120 entrusted it to me to deliver. 2188 01:17:31,160 --> 01:17:33,720 - Yes, but the point is-- - The point is. if I did so, 2189 01:17:33,760 --> 01:17:35,960 the sentiments contained in this letter, might create 2190 01:17:36,000 --> 01:17:38,040 a certain confusion in the first lord's mind. 2191 01:17:38,080 --> 01:17:38,840 Confusion? 2192 01:17:38,920 --> 01:17:40,520 In view of the entirely different sentiments 2193 01:17:40,560 --> 01:17:42,240 which you expressed to me, battleships or bombers, 2194 01:17:42,320 --> 01:17:44,400 and passed onto him, do you remember, admiral? 2195 01:17:44,520 --> 01:17:47,200 Gentlemen, do you intend to wreck my career, 2196 01:17:47,240 --> 01:17:49,200 after nearly 50 years service? 2197 01:17:49,320 --> 01:17:50,800 You couldn't do a ghastly thing-- 2198 01:17:50,880 --> 01:17:52,080 No, we couldn't, could we, Peter? 2199 01:17:52,160 --> 01:17:53,560 To my future grandfather-in-law? 2200 01:17:53,600 --> 01:17:55,640 Not a-- and furthermore, never intended to. 2201 01:17:55,720 --> 01:17:57,000 Give me that letter. [ BELL RINGING ] 2202 01:17:57,040 --> 01:17:58,280 There, sir. 2203 01:17:58,320 --> 01:17:59,840 Now, we're entirely at your mercy. 2204 01:17:59,920 --> 01:18:04,000 Oh, my dear boy! My very dear boy! 2205 01:18:04,040 --> 01:18:05,720 Ha-hah, it wasn't anything, Gramps. 2206 01:18:05,760 --> 01:18:06,960 We're in again! 2207 01:18:07,040 --> 01:18:09,320 - The first lord, sir. - Oh, we're out again. 2208 01:18:09,360 --> 01:18:11,040 - Good afternoon, sir. - Admiral. 2209 01:18:11,120 --> 01:18:13,080 Which of you is Lieutenant Commander Fraser? 2210 01:18:13,120 --> 01:18:14,880 - I am, sir. - I see. 2211 01:18:14,960 --> 01:18:16,040 May I take over, admiral? 2212 01:18:16,120 --> 01:18:17,600 Certainly, sir. 2213 01:18:17,760 --> 01:18:19,480 You are, I take it, aware of the fact, 2214 01:18:19,520 --> 01:18:21,200 that one of the things a naval officer must learn 2215 01:18:21,280 --> 01:18:22,920 - is to be trustworthy? - Yes, sir. 2216 01:18:22,960 --> 01:18:24,760 And he's expected to set an example 2217 01:18:24,840 --> 01:18:26,680 of dependability and integrity. 2218 01:18:26,760 --> 01:18:28,240 Do you agree, Lieutenant Commander Fraser? 2219 01:18:28,280 --> 01:18:30,120 - Yes, sir. - Very well. 2220 01:18:30,640 --> 01:18:33,560 Then for heaven's sake, give him back his bloody oilskins! 2221 01:18:33,680 --> 01:18:36,120 [ ALL LAUGHING ] 2222 01:18:41,240 --> 01:18:43,440 ♪ Carry on, admiral. 2223 01:18:45,240 --> 01:18:47,400 ♪ Carry on, admiral. 2224 01:18:48,960 --> 01:18:51,640 ♪ Carry on, admiral. 2225 01:18:52,320 --> 01:18:56,640 ♪ Carry on, carry on, carry on! ♪ 2226 01:18:58,120 --> 01:19:01,200 [ GRAND BASS BAND MUSIC ]